Sunday, September 14, 2008

Depressed

I didn't realize until today when I was talking to Lindsey that I was just depressed. I knew I'd been unusually tired lately, but hadn't attributed it to depression. I don't get depressed often (hardly ever!!), so God has to knock me over the head to make me realize what's going on in my heart and mind sometimes.
I think most of it has to do with the inordinate amount of counseling we've been doing lately. We've counseled several people who were suicidal, marriages falling apart, some who may be going to prison over their sin, etc. Then add to that the burdens my own kids are carrying (which I tend to help carry), and I think I'm just ready for a break.
I'm just being honest here. I could use your prayers. Isn't it interesting? I really think blogging brought this to light. I got real with myself. I've also recognized how important visual reward is to me (for real!) and decided it was time for me to see some reward with the money I'm making. So...I've hired a housecleaner today. (And boy, does it need it!) Now THAT I can get excited about!!
Thanks for praying.

9 comments:

Tammy said...

Becky, sometimes, we just don't have anything left to give. And sooner or later, you have to take care of yourself, to be able to do what you do (counselling, kid's worries, kid's moving....). You just seem to be such a giving person. I am glad that you are able to have someone come in and clean your house. I have a friend and they have been doing some major remodelling and us too (ours is going on, what Tamra? 3 years? hahaha) and we both found that it was causing us to be depressed. Just never having a cleaned house, all the redoing, working..... I will be praying for you, not that I am a counselor or going through what you are going through in any area, but I know as a wife, mother, employee, woman - I have been where you are, any many days I still am. I am glad you brought that point up about blogging. It makes me do a lot of soul searching. I think I probably use the blog more as a journal than a blog.

Amy said...

I agree with Tammy. You do give out a lot and it is time for you to give something to yourself. I think that you need to get a pedicure while your house is being cleaned, and then have dinner with a friend, and then go buy a new outfit. Can you tell what I like when I feel down in the dumps? :)

Rachel said...

I agree with Tammy and Amy, but would like to add a nice gooey chocolate cake dessert and a coffee at starbucks while browsing in Barnes and Noble to pick out a new book that will transport your mind from the chaos that surrounds it. Can you tell what I like to do? I love you and will be praying for you.

As We Are said...

I have prayed! Prayed for a new song, renewed energy, new mercies in the morning, and a very peaceful, restful sleep tonight to get you there! I prayed that the depression and exhaustion would be released and replaced with inexplainable joy.
Becky, as one that you have done so much for, I can't begin to tell you thanks enough. I wish I could send you to a weekend spa for relaxing and rest, but I guess I will have to settle for adding to the other 3's day out! A day of lazer hair removal on your eye brows and upper lip so you don't have to suffer through that nasty waxing mess any more!
I'm so thankful for you. You have been such a blessing to me. It seems like it is time to do something for yourself.

Sandra said...

How about a weekend at Ruidoso? Or better yet, take some time off and make it longer than a weekend! Wish I could go! :-) Praying for you today. Love you!

Anonymous said...

I have so much I want to say to you but I don't feel like I can here so look in your MySpace inbox. But I do agree with the other girls...do something just for yourself. Be selfish for a little while! You give so much to others, now give something to yourself!!

Lindsey said...

Well, I agree with everyone. And they all have great suggestions for getting yourself out of a funk...I may have to try some of them! We're so glad we have a mom like you to be there for us and help us carry our burdens. I'm glad you're going to start filling your own love tank!

Kara said...

Aw I'm so proud of you for posting this. Sometimes it's hard to admit to us actually having problems. {HUGS} I will be in prayer and I hope you are rejuvenated and fresh soon Becky. You mean so much to all of us!

Emily Suzanne said...

I can completely understand how easily it would be to become depressed with all of the things you're carrying. Blogging brings things to light for me too!
What's your job?
Thanks for being so honest, it causes me to sit back and think about myself and my moods and how I'm really doing on the inside.
Thank You, God!
A housecleaner sounds divine, btw!