I'm kind of melancholy tonight. I'm not really sure why. Probably because I haven't felt good (laryingitis) and there are just lots of emotions going on out there. Watching Amy's kids go off to school....hearing about Zach's dr's. appointment (good news, bad news---dr. doesn't think it's his thyroid---so now what?)...re-reading Marcy's post about her mom. I just feel sad.
And you know what? That's good. I'm a person who's never allowed herself to feel many emotions. Suppressed, I think they say. Probably why I have lots of canker sores. I wish I'd let myself have a good cry when my kids went off to school or when Amy tore her nose open on a coffee table. I just felt the need to hold it together. In control. Excuse me while I psychoanalyze myself. Yeah, probably a control freak.
But...I think I want to turn over a new leaf. I hereby give myself permission to cry, scream, be hysterical if I want. If you see me with red eyes and no makeup, you'll know why. I think I'll go have a good cry.
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Becky Dietz
About Me
- Becky Dietz
- I am married to Andy Dietz, pastor of First Baptist Church, Groom, TX. We've been in the ministry for over 35 years. We have four grown children and 10 beautiful grandchildren! I write to share what God is teaching me (it's a continual work in progress!) and to open the window to my life and allow you to look in.
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3 comments:
hahaha...like I told Marcy, it can be embarrassing at times, but it's always healing. Welcome to the other side!
Oh Becky, you just wait until you see what I will be bloggin about soon. I have been waiting for the right minute--to have enough time to share what God's been doing in my since Mom's death--and it sounds SO much like what He's doing in you--releasing the emotions--be it tears or happiness. PUMPED to walk through this door with you!!
I'm proud of you. Like Amy said, welcome to the club.
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