So glad my wisdom teeth are already out!

So glad my wisdom teeth are already out...and before they had cell phones and YouTube!

Bank of America Office

Amy had asked me to keep my eyes open for a set of office phones for her kids.  She thought they'd love to have them to play office.  I was at Dub's (our local junk store) yesterday and found these.  Even though they're not office phones, I thought the grandkids would have fun playing with them at my house--and they were clean!  So I made a big $6 purchase.  Just so you know, they are now the Bank of America phones.

Ryan & Addie are visiting and the phones became an immediate hit.  Addie keeps wanting to put her name on her phone (possession is a difficult thing at Grandma's house!), but I told her we couldn't.  But it doesn't keep her from asking...again...and again.

This morning at breakfast, they were already at play.  Addie answers her phone as, "This is Selena at Bank of America."  She has a great office voice.  Ryan is Ryan, the bank president.  I am Ms. Margaret--the bank flunky.  I got off on the wrong foot on my first day of work by answering the phone as "Wells Fargo...this is Margaret.  May I help you?"  Mr. Ryan looked at Selena in shock!  I had to tell the people on the line that they had the wrong number and slammed the phone down.

So the day started off as a huge surprise call to Mr. Ryan.  He hung up his phone with huge eyes and a big smile---we were all getting 3000 pieces of money!!  What a windfall. 

So Ms. Margaret was instructed to take notes of what we would use this 3000 pieces of money for.  With Mr. Ryan, there was no philanthropy involved.  (If you click on the above photo, you may be able to read the list.  Mr. Ryan dictated the first 2 lines.) 

The next call to Mr. Ryan was from the President of the United States of America.  And Mr. Ryan HUNG UP on the President!  When I confronted him, he said that the president was mean--he'd lost all of our money. 

Ms. Margaret received a call that there had been a stock market crash.  (The looks from that call were priceless.  They had no idea.)  But as I explained it to them, Selena got on the phone to the robbers.  She wanted to know if they were responsible for the stock market crash.  (Apparently, I'm a bad explainer...or maybe not.)  They were responsible!!  And they showed up at the bank.  As they got near the window, Mr. Ryan pushed a button which sent the robbers through a trap door--straight to the police department.

Through the course of all of this, Selena had a heart attack and became an angel (with half of her hair over one eye).  She floated between heaven and earth and brought messages from God to Mr. Ryan & Ms. Margaret.  God even allowed her to sit on his throne at times.  She wanted Margaret to become an angel and go to heaven, but alas...Ms. Margaret hadn't finished her coffee.

The End.

It was all I could do not to die laughing at times.  These two are great pretenders and have such affected voices.



Solving World Problems in 5 Minutes or Less

If only the world leaders would solve their problems the way these two do...  After getting permission to watch a movie tonight, they opened the bottom drawer of the movie chest to find a movie to agree upon and their coversation went like this:

Ryan:  Addie, do you want to watch Pinocchio?
Addie:  No.
Ryan:  Davy Crockett?
Addie:  No.
Ryan:  Flubber?
Addie:  No.
Ryan:  Lady & the Tramp?
Addie:  No.
Ryan:  Aristocats?
Addie:  Yes.

This decision took less than a minute and they are now watching their movie.
The End.

Laughable Moment

This is Addie.  She's my 5-year-old granddaughter.  She received this new apron and ran into her room and came out with all of these things in her little pocket.  We kind of understood the tools, but her mom asked her, "Addie, why do you have a gun in your apron?"  Addie looked at her mom in disbelief and said, "Well, I have to glue stuff!"

I'm hungry!

This is Addie--my granddaughter.  She came to our house Wednesday night so that her parents could cater the Living Water Christmas party.  She and her brother were going to hang out at Living Water during the party, but Pops got sick (sniff, sniff, cough, cough, A-CHOO, A-CHOO, A-CHOO, A-CHOO,A-CHOO, A-CHOO) and couldn't go to the party, so he ended up babysitting the kids at the house.  And this is his story.... 

 

As soon as Addie's mom left the house, he turned and found Addie with her head in this cabinet.  (And yes...it normally looks like this.)  All of my grandkids know where I keep the good stuff--candy, crackers, snacks.  And even though they know "it's not healthy for them and has ariticial flavors", they're drawn to these snacks.

She had to climb all the way up from the floor to get to this cabinet---something she's never done at our house, so Pops was definitely surprised!  He asked her, "Addie!  What are you doing?"  To which she replied, "I'm hungry!"  Pops got her down and told her she couldn't have (another) snack.  So she walked over to the next counter.

"What's in that jar (to the left), Pops?"  Nothing.

"What's in that jar (center), Pops?"  Nothing.

"What's in that jar (right), Pops?"  Nothing.

"Then why are they there?"

 

The girl was definitely hungry.

Review

Have you ever gone back and taken a look at old journals---or even old blogs you've written?  It's so encouraging to me.  Even though I've walked through some pretty tough things in my past, as I'm sure you have, God has been faithful.  It's been a journey of training for me.  I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago, 15 years ago, 5 years ago or even 3 weeks ago. 

I was laughing this past week, telling Amy about a paper I wrote my senior year in high school.  I had an English teacher who was also a published author.  He was very severe in his critique and we all tried to meet his high standards with our writing.  So for my final paper, I wrote about what was most on my mind---Marriage.  (Seriously!)  I made a high grade, but in red ink at the top of the paper, he wrote, "You might want to know how to spell the word when you write about it."  Throughout the whole paper, I'd written, "marraige."  Which only proves how much I knew about the subject at the time!  Amy was rolling as I was telling her this story.  She told me, "I'm sure when he was reading it at home, he was yelling to his wife, "Martha, come here!  You've got to hear this!!  It says here that if we do this, we'll have a successful marriage.  And we should try this...."

It's alot the same with my musings on here or in my journal.  I often write about things I have no knowledge of first-hand.  I know it only in theory.  But it's as if God reads what I write and says, "Ok.  We can learn about that if it's on your mind."  Not in a malicious way, but in a fatherly way.  And I praise Him for it.  I want to finish this life learning.  I want to grow and not be stagnant.  I want to finish well.

Even God keeps a journal and goes back and reads it.  Have you heard about it?  "Then those who feared the Lord talked often one to another; and the Lord listened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him of those who reverenced and worshipfully feared the Lord and who thought on His name."  Malachi 3:16

Journals are a good thing.  It's a great reminder of where you've been, what you've learned along the way and Who has sustained you.

Floods predicted on Crockett St.

The end must be near.  It's flooding on Crockett St. in Borger, Texas!  Actually, my dishwasher or my disposal backed up into my basement sink...and into the floor...and into the basement living room...and on into the closet.  And I cried, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus!"

And then I borrowed a carpet knife and began cutting up carpet and rolling it up (while trying not to touch it---hard feat!) and threw it out the back door.  HGTV has paid off.

Then I lit candles all over my house (nasty smell!) and grabbed my mop and Lysol...and bleach...and 409.  I couldn't find the mop pail, so I dunked my mop in the toilet and started swiping the floor.  Trust me...it was a vast improvement over what was on my floor.

I went upstairs to grab paper towels and began mopping up my countertop after spraying 409.  Some of that gunk was glued down.  It looked like seaweed.  Maybe the ocean is backing up into Crockett St. in Borger, Texas!

The plumber is coming in the morning.  And I think the disposal is history.  Pray for my plumber...I want God to guide him so it's a quick, easy fix.  And I think he'll appreciate the prayers for his health and safety.

Jesus Falling off the Cross

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time!!  I cried because I was laughing so hard....and the choir just kept singing.

Blog Humor

Dogs & Grandkids

Ryan and Addie started out on my bed tonight watching American Idol with me.  Then I opened my facebook and they both wanted to write a message, so we did that.  Then we started talking about dogs. (They've been promised a dog since they got a house.)  So I decided to look up some pictures on the internet to show them. 

We started with this one:

Awwww...isn't he cute?  That was their response, too.

But then Ryan told me he wasn't getting this kind of dog, he was getting a poodle. 

So I looked up a poodle and showed him this:

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!  That was his response as he fell in a fit of giggles!  We were all laughing hysterically and we all decided it's NOT going to be a poodle!

Daddy got home and we showed him our pictures and he decided to look some up. 

He showed us this dog:

NOOOOOO!!  At this point, Addie's head goes under the covers.

So he unveils this beauty to us:

Ok...I couldn't find the exact photo David found, but this is close.  By this time, Addie was screaming and crying.  She didn't want to see anymore ugly dogs.  Only cute ones.

But this is the one that really did Addie in:

David actually thought he was showing her something "cute" that she would laugh about!  But she screamed, "I DON'T LIKE POODLES!!!!!"

So David showed Ryan this picture:

And David told Ryan that they had owned a doggie like this when Ryan was a baby.  Ryan couldn't believe it!!  He asked his dad what the dog's name was and David told him it was "Forrest."  Ryan began crying and came and fell in my lap to grieve for the dog he never knew he had.  And of course, I did what any good grandmother would do.....I was laughing hysterically!!!  Addie still had her head under the covers screaming about not wanting to see anymore ugly dogs (I'm just praying there's enough fun conversation on the way home and enough time lapse so there are no nightmares tonight!) and Ryan's crying over the dog he never knew he had.  I can hardly contain myself at this point.  But I begin telling Ryan that Forrest had gone to live on a farm (true) with a family and was probably chasing cows and chickens just like Jack on Little House on the Prairie.  Ahhhhh.....the tears stopped.  That did the trick!  Thank goodness they've been watching Little House so I had something that would compute.

  And with that.....the computer was closed.

Happy Mother's Day

My favorite Mother's Day story of all time comes from Amy:

Isaac came RUNNING out of Children's Church tonight grinning from ear to ear with a gift in his hands. He couldn't wait to get home and show what he had made for me. When we got home, he made me sit down and very seriously presented me with his gift.

In his package were little cards, each one describing ways he would help me this week.

Monday: "If we go on a walk and I see a blind person, I will take them by the hand and lead them home."

Tuesday: "If I meet a little girl, I will tell her about Jesus."

Friday: "Oh yeah, I'll help you sweep."

Saturday: "I'll help you clean the potties."

Sunday: "If we find an arrow, I'll clean it."

I asked him what happened to Wednesday and Thursday, but he didn't seem too concerned.

What is your favorite Mother's Day story?

Flowers

Yesterday, these 2 grandkids were here.  They came along with their mommy and daddy.  Their daddy was going to work on a new computer at Living Water for me.  (That took all of 15 minutes!)

When they walked in the door, they had these beautiful flowers in their hands.

When we were kissing and hugging as they were leaving, I was thanking them for coming and Ryan said, "And thank you for the flowers."  Oh yes, Ryan!  How could I forget???  

THANK YOU for the flowers!  I love them.

Footprints

I was cooking supper tonight and sent Andy to go get us some ice. I saw him leave and then our phone rang. When I answered, it was Andy. He said, "Go look outside by the birdbath." "Why?," I asked. He replied, "Just go look---you might want to take your camera." So, I grabbed the camera and went outside to see what he was talking about.

Ryan & Addie had been here last night when the snow was falling. And they had their rain boots on. So as they left, they used those boots for all they were worth, apparently!

And as you can tell, they stayed off the beaten path! That's what boots are made for, after all.

Ride Home

Amy and the 3 kids picked me up at the airport. We were all so excited to see one another. As Amy loaded my suitcase into the van, the boys were already asking if I would sit between their car seats on the 40 minute ride to their house. How could I resist such an offer?? And this is the way the conversation went after the preliminaries (mostly of Isaac sniffing me--I have to smell like Gee in order for me to be authentic):

Isaac: Gee, do ladies have beards?

Me: (A little paranoid, I must admit) Why? Do I have a beard?

Isaac: (Reaching up and touching my sideburns--from my haircut) You have these. Are you getting a beard?

Me: (After much laughter) I guess I am growing a beard.

Next conversation after telling the boys I was going to have to put books on their heads so they'd quit growing.

Me: Boys, when you get big like your daddy, will you take care of Gee?

Josiah: YES!!

Isaac: You'll be DEAD, Gee!

Amy & I fall out laughing.

Isaac: REALLY, Gee. You'll be dead!

Me: But Granny & Mama aren't dead and Buff is big and I'm big. (It's not computing)

Isaac: Gee, you'll be DEAD! I'm serious!

Me: Are you a prophet?

Isaac & Josiah: *singing loudly* Jonah was a prophet.....And away they go into the VeggieTales song.

Josiah: Gee, we have a surprise for you in your room.

Me: Really?? For ME??

Isaac: You know the room you stay in, Gee?

Me: YES! I like that room.

Josiah: We put pictures in your room.

Isaac: Yeah! And we hung stuff all over your room.

Josiah: And we gave you MONEY! It's by your bed.

So much for the surprise. But the telling was even better...well, it was equally as good. Pictures to follow of this amazing surprise!

After we got home, Isaac presented me with our schedule. He only had one hour scheduled so far for our week.

7:00 Isaac & Josiah and Gee wake up and watch Little House on the Prairie

7:30 Eat breakfast

8:00 Olivia wakes up

So far, we're perfectly on schedule.

Happy Thanksgiving, Ya'll!

Hope your Thanksgiving goes perfectly---that you have plenty to eat and that you have fun with your family.

Don't forget to give THANKS!

Cubbies

Let me preface my story by telling you that David is leading worship for our youth service on Wednesday nights. So that means that David, Lindsey, Ryan & Addie have been coming over every Wednesday for the past three weeks and going to church with us. Ryan started out in Awanas and Addie in Cubbies, but because of a little anxiety for both kids about being in a new church (after a couple of other "new" situations), we put Ryan in Cubbies with Addie tonight. And I've been staying in there with them.
Well, tonight we started out with playdough. And then the kids took turns going to the bathroom to wash their hands (I was the hand washing overseer). From there, they went into music class with Ms. Georgia---the kids love Ms. Georgia. I slipped away for a few minutes. (I have this plan to wean the kids from me being in there.) So I was in the Cubby room with the regular teacher and her husband. We heard the kids singing a song along with a tape and I took a quick peek and saw that they were playing musical chairs. These are mostly 4-year-0lds, mind you. One by one, as kids were eliminated, you would hear wailing. At first it was a mild wail. And then when the song ended again, the wailing doubled. The teachers & I in the other room were laughing our heads off! Finally, after the wailing quadrupled, the music was turned off and chairs were moved. Ms. Georgia moved on to singing.
I doubt they play musical chairs in Cubby's again anytime soon---I don't think these kids were ready for that kind of rejection!

My Aunt Dixie's funeral

I went to my Aunt Dixie's funeral today in Wheeler. My cousin, Darrell, called Andy and asked him to sing about 3 songs. On one of the songs, Andy asked me to accompany him on the piano. (He had tracks for the other 2.) I don't know why, but at the last few minutes before I played, I started getting nervous. I think it was mainly because I've never played for a funeral for any of my family---I'm not even sure they knew I played the piano.
Before the funeral began, 2 of my aunts and uncles from the other side of the family walked into the packed auditorium. It was standing room only. I was seated at the piano and had a perfect view of what was going on at the back of the church. One of my uncles walked down the aisle until he found a place where they could all sit. He looked back at my aunts and other uncle and wildly motioned for them to come. They all stood completely still--statuesque, even. I began chuckling to myself. Then this uncle held up 2 fingers and motioned just as wildly again as if to say, "There's room for 2 more!" His wife looked at her sister with a look of, "I don't know that man!" My other uncle finally went down and joined him and they sat together. By this time, I wanted to guffaw! Two minutes passed and one aunt (not the wife) went and joined the guys. My embarrassed and stubborn aunt (the wife) finally went about 3 rows behind the others and climbed over 3 people to find her own seat---away from her husband. Tears were running out of my eyes from having to contain myself at this funeral!!!
This whole scene loosened me up a bit before I had to play the piano. As I began the intro of Amazing Grace, I had the distinct feeling that my dad, his brothers, my grandparents and my Aunt Dixie were all sitting in heaven accompanying me on that song---as if they had musical instruments and were playing along just to help me out. (None of them played instruments on earth) It was a surreal experience! I played the song with only a few glaring mistakes and sat down. The preacher read the obituary and then Andy sang Beulah Land. I jokingly asked the heavenly family--who loved to hear Andy sing here on earth--if they were going to accompany him. This all took place in my mind, of course. I could have sworn I heard them all say, "No. We're all just going to sit here and listen and enjoy!" Talk about a rebuff---they had to help me out, but wanted to sit and listen to Andy. Sounds just like their sense of humor!! I can still hear them laughing...(Don't try to figure out my mind. If this didn't really happen, what does this say about me that I can think these things about myself?!)
At the graveside, I looked around at all of my siblings and cousins---so many of them came to the funeral. And I was so proud of our family. We have a great family that pulls together and really loves one another. My dad and his siblings had a wonderful sense of humor and I think that was a great bond for our family. And my thought was this, "THIS is what heaven is going to be like--a place where our hearts are going to be bound together in love forever."