Friday, May 15, 2009

The flu

Is this common to women or moms.....or is it just my own personality? I've been sick since last Sunday. It started out with a mild sore throat and backache. And yet....I wouldn't admit that I was actually sick. I got up and went to Sunday School (it was Mother's Day, after all!) and was there for 10 minutes (long enough for the breakfast time!!) and looked at Andy and told him I was going home. Missed out on Mother's Day lunch even. But still....wouldn't admit I was sick. I went to work Monday still with a backache, but my throat was better. I told myself all day that I needed to quit carrying things around there. (Self-diagnosis for the backache) Tuesday, I started feeling a little stopped up, but declared to myself that it was allergies. I went to work Wednesday and sounded a little stopped up and did very little work. My back was still aching. Yesterday, I had to go to work because I had a presentation to make before the UW for money for Living Water. So when I got back to LW, I supervised the unloading of the truck and afterwards, went to my desk and didn't move for the rest of the day. I was beginning to admit I didn't feel well. I was very stopped up by this point. I came home and went to bed. Andy was having a missions meeting at my house last night, so he had to come home and feed us both and clean house. I usually serve cookies, at least, but they got nothing last night. By the time the meeting was over (around 8), I was crying. And finally admitting, "I'M SICK!" I had Andy go ask Ember if she could work for me today. (Bless you, Ember! Please thank Derek for me!!) Then I began calling the men who volunteer at Living Water and giving them instructions for the day.
FIVE DAYS!! FIVE STINKIN' DAYS before I would admit to myself that I was sick. I'm not asking for sympathy---I don't need sympathy when I'm sick....I just like to be left alone. But it got me to thinking....does this come from being a mother and not allowing yourself to be sick so you can nurture the rest of the family? Or is it just my bull-headed nature? (And I'm sure my daughter and daughter-in-law will be the only ones to face that question head-on....well, maybe a couple of others! ha!) This is a pattern in my life. I refuse to admit I'm sick...and by the time I finally do admit it, I'm completely down and usually on the way to recovery. Why is that????

4 comments:

TheShermanFam said...

It's the hard head thing...I know moms who don't mind staying at home sick...I am not one of them! I'm so stubborn when it comes to being sick, too!! Most of my problem in the past is because I don't like people to have to pick up my "slack"...maybe back to the people pleaser thing...??
And I was wondering why we didn't have any treats last night! HA! J/K... But Andy always cracks us up, so that was treat enough! ;)

Lindsey said...

It's the mom in us! It is. For the first week of the tummy bug I had, I was determined that it was just something I ate, and kept telling everyone that I was fine. After a week, there was no pretending. I was SICK! I think it makes us feel guilty to lay in bed and "be sick." There are so many more things we could be doing, therefore, we convince ourselves that we're ok and keep going. Only when we're so sick that it's impossible to keep going do we finally throw in the towel and admit it. It is from being a wife/mom. Because I never had a problem admitting sickness B.C. (Before Children).

Anonymous said...

Well, for me, I don't know about the mom thing. I never have admitted to being sick. Or hurting. I had really bad contractions, on top of each other, they never let up with Carson and no one knew for a whole hour because I never said anything! Being an L&D nurse I knew it was a bad thing but couldn't bring myself to say...I am hurting!! Same with when I am sick....I never rest, unless David makes me. I hardly ever missed school for sickness and in the 8 years I've been a nurse I have called in sick 2 times and once was when a kid was sick. I don't get sick that often, though, being a nurse really toughens your immune system...ha!

Tammy said...

i am really bad a about not wanting others to be doing what i "should" be doing. does that make sense to you? it goes back a lot to you recent blog in not allowing yourself the down time to actually be sick and take the time for the recovery that your body so desperately needs. i don't think for me it's a control thing as much as a guilt thing if others are doing what i normally do, for me. i hope you are feeling much better and are definitely on the uphill side of this sick stuff. take care of yourself. one thing i have learned - the world does keep turning while i am down. i may have alot to do when i am better, but at least by then i feel like doing it.