Jodina and her 3 sisters are shopping queens! I love going shopping with them--even though my tail will be dragging at the end of the day. They run straight to the bargain bins to start with and find the coolest stuff that I never see. And trust me....they find the bargains! But this morning, as Jodina & I were walking, she told me that her daughter, Miclyn, has surpassed her in her shopping skills. (I can't even imagine!) I laughed and told her that that is a fulfillment of scripture: "Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands." (Psalm 127:4) And I proceeded to tell Jodina what my sister-in-law, Janis, told me many years ago (see, Janis--I never forgot!), "And our children will go further than us!"
I stopped dead in my tracks and grabbed Jodina's arm and said, "I just had a revelation!!" (I scared her to death!) In order for our children to go further than us, we have to RELEASE them! They are our arrows. We can point them at the target of God's will every day of their lives---but until we release them, they can never fulfill all God created them to be. Our entire job as mothers is to work ourselves out of a job. We should be preparing our children to become mature, capable adults who can thrive on their own. We need to be preparing them and ourselves for the moment we release them. And what happens when you release an arrow? It doesn't crawl to the target---it flies!! So when you release them, you can expect them to fly out of your home (excitedly!) and chase the will of God. I can promise you---it will be just as exciting for you if you've prepared yourself to let go.
What happens if you never release your children? You try and exert control over them all of their lives. But you must ask yourself: Who do you want them pleasing---you or God? Some people will break themselves from the control of their parents...and it's never pretty. A torn relationship is never as clean as a released relationship. Do you know someone who was never released--and they're still trying to please their parents, find favor and acceptance? They're probably in a miserable job that doesn't fit them---all to please their parents. Those parents never let go. They never released their arrow to fly and to accomplish all God intended with their lives.
I also hate seeing moms who are so sad when their children leave home. Now I'm not saying it's not emotional for us when they leave. But when a mom is still so tied to a child that it devastates her; she hasn't prepared herself or that child to leave. God has only given us a job for a short time. He doesn't expect us to complete those kids---that's His job! He only wants us to constantly be shaping them as arrows, making them true and straight. And we're to train them to see the true target--God's will. We need to teach them to discern the difference between that target and the targets Satan sets up for them. But some moms think it's their job to complete their children---to be mothering that child until the day they die--they never let go.
I think it's even important to release our husbands and ourselves! Our husbands aren't our arrows, but I think the principle applies. I know a man who came to the end of his life and was filled with regret. He knew God had called him to be a preacher...but his wife didn't want to go to seminary with small children. She wanted him to get a job that would provide for them. So he worked hard at this job he didn't really like or feel fulfilled in and one day quit in a fit of anger. He did odd jobs after that--but never had much and always loved the Word and wanted opportunities to preach when he could. He told me his sad story near the end of his life and he was filled with regret.
So...today, I release my 4 children (again). I release their 4 spouses that I love like my own children. I release my 7 grandchildren. I release my husband. I release myself. And I even release all of you. I shoot you to the target of God's will and I'm giggling as I hear that "whfft" go by my ear as that arrow leaves my bow. Releasing is the best blessing we can give! Aim high!!