If I Could Teach Myself

If I could go back and teach a 25-year-old Becky anything, it would be this:  submission.  The interesting thing is that I was taught submission at that age.  But it came from the legalistic mindset...or at least, that's how I heard it.


Unless we get that one thing right, we're going to have a hard time in our relationship with God.  Submission is a great key to life.  If we're not submitting, we're resisting.  And with resisting comes striving.  And with striving, there is no peace.  I heard someone say this week that when we resist God, we draw near to Satan.  I'm sure that came from James 4:7--inverting what it says.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."


God has an order.  He has a plan.  And we can either submit to it or resist it.  One brings peace; the other brings striving.  I think I know why we resist submission...because we have to die to pride.  We'd rather be right than submit.  It's a battle of wills--our will or God's will.  And it's just so hard to give up our will.  It takes death.  And who likes to die?  


It's taken me a long time to get there.  (Not that I've completely arrived, mind you.)  I remember even having to confess to a pastor a few years ago that no, I wasn't holding an offense against him...I just had a problem submitting.  And not just to him...to anyone.  And it was true.  I saw things pretty black and white and felt right most of the time.  And I didn't want to submit to someone I felt was wrong.


But God.  God has been chiseling away at my life most of my life.  I've walked through some very hard things.  And I've had to die.  I realized I wasn't right all of the time.  (I know...you're shocked!)  But what I did learn was submission.  And instead of it being legalistic and scary, it's so sweet.  It's coming to a good God who has a wonderful plan for my life that's been prearranged and made ready for me to live.  Submission means that I come in agreement with God for that plan.  I quit kicking and screaming like a 2-year-old, demanding my own way.  I quiet myself and anticipate all that my Father has for me.


The hard part is not seeing what that plan is.  That's why I must press myself in to my Daddy and know His heart.  As long as I trust His heart, I submit.  When I don't think He's working fast enough or doing what's best for me, I quit submitting and try to "fix" my own life.  I take over and assert my will over God's will.


Yes, I wish I could go back and teach a 25-year-old Becky what I know now.  A life of submission is peaceful.  It's trusting a heavenly Father who loves me.  I'm just not sure that Becky would have listened.  But I still wish I could go back and tell her.