Two months. We were two months past the tornado. The trucks were all gone. People were gone. Everyone had been such a huge help, but now we were left with the help of insurance, FEMA, builders, and our own hands. Of course, God had never left us. And thank goodness He knew the way past this mess!
We were so glad another town who’d walked through the same thing a year before, sent their point man to share what they’d learned through the process of rebuilding. That’s how Caleb knew to apply for a FEMA trailer house to set on our property so we’d have a place to live while we rebuilt. Honestly, that town’s pain was used to help us and we hoped to do the same for someone else down the road—not that we wished this on anyone!
Caleb woke up this morning excited! He was like a kid before Christmas. “Today’s the day we start framing our house! I’ve asked Jennifer to come take photos of our family in front of the new foundation,” he told me. We were both nervous about the money stretching. The insurance company had been quick to total our house and to send a check. But prices of EVERYTHING kept going up every single day. We also needed a houseful of furniture! We had dreamed a little with what we wanted in this house but we’d kept the same basic floor plan because it worked so well. A lumber store in Amarillo was sending trucks with everything we needed. Our contractor was a friend and he was working hard to help us keep the costs down.
“1…2…3…smile!” Jennifer was clicking away. We were all wearing the new clothes mom had sent us. “Merry, it’s time to get out of the donated clothing,” she chided. What she didn’t realize is that it was actually nicer than a lot of what had been in our closet. But it gave us a boost to have something new. We’d waded through more mud, dirt, trash, and piles of broken lumber than I ever hoped to again. It took dump trucks weeks to haul off trash—and they were working eight hours a day to do it.
The kids all thought this was a grand adventure thanks to Caleb’s attitude. (I was the resident worrier!) He’d put the boys to work helping clear the property. They were pretty proud of their work gloves. The girls and I kept the trailer house clean, animals fed, and the meals cooked, although we’d eaten pizza more often than I cared to admit. But today was framing day! “Girls, do not cross this line today,” Caleb told the girls as he drug the heel of his boot in the dirt. “Boys, grab your hammers. You’re helping,” he told some wide-eyed, excited boys.
Caleb told me, “Merry, go in the house and sit down and rest. I won’t let the boys do more than they can handle—I just want them to remember building this house with their own hands. The girls will be well-entertained for a bit just watching,” He knew I was exhausted…but he was also rubbing the frown lines between my brows. He knew I was worried. Too many things were going on. Too many decisions had to be made. And there were way too many expenses. And some days it felt like there were too many kids in the trailer house. “They’re a gift!” I reminded myself.
So I did…I went in the house and sat down. I needed some time to lay all of this at Jesus’ feet. I felt like I’d been living in a tornado myself with no time to turn things off and sit at Jesus’ feet. Caleb knew me well. I opened my Bible and it fell open to Psalm 37. My eyes fell on verses 3-7 underlined in my Bible:
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him,
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Yes, Caleb knew me well, but God knew me better. “God, I confess my sin of worry. You are already in our future. You know what it’s going to take to rebuild. Would You rebuild me in the process? Rebuild us as a family. I commit my way to You. I WANT to delight in You! I want Your desires…and I want to trust that the desires that are in my heart are from You. Please help me rest in You. Change me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I sat awhile with God. He loved on me and filled me. We even had a couple of laughs together. And then I was ready to face building a house and whatever it might bring.
“Girls! Do you want to come in and make some cookies for our builders?” They jumped up from making mud pies and squealed, “YESSSS!!!” We hadn’t made cookies in a good, long while.
It was time. Time to start rebuilding all that Satan had destroyed.
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