As part of our pre-marital counseling, our pastor, Paul Burleson, gave us some sound advice. These ideas were all implemented on a pastor’s salary—with four kids. It can be done!
1. Date weekly. That idea sounds easy before you get married, but add a couple of kids and a busy job or two, and it becomes hard. But the intent is spot on—stay connected. Don’t just go to a movie—go somewhere you can talk. Go on a walk or go get a cup of coffee and look into each other’s eyes as you talk. Listen to one another. Put a babysitter in your budget. Or better yet, trade out babysitting with friends.
2. Retreat monthly. Get out of town as a couple. Ask the grandparents to watch the kids. Make it a priority to go somewhere overnight. Plan a romantic retreat or go camping somewhere you love. Take turns planning something and make an effort to really enjoy what the other has planned. Their plan will tell you a lot about who they are. And after all, that’s why this time away is important! Get to know one another’s hearts.
3. Vacate yearly. Again…just the two of you. Get away for a few days. Borrow a family cabin or motor home. Get creative! You could even trade houses with friends from another city or state. Spend time talking and evaluating where you are relationally. Determine to make corrections where they’re needed. Make goals for your marriage and your ministry together. Listen to one another—really hear each other’s heart. It usually takes a couple of days to finally RELAX! So spend more than a couple of days away. The whole family will benefit.
These were some basic suggestions for our marriage—and ones we honestly took to heart. I would recommend these ideas to a new or even a long-lasting marriage. We can’t expect amazing returns with no investment. Invest in your marriage! More than that…guard your marriage.
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