The Social Media Experiment

Close all social media for one week. Yes…completely shut it down. You can go to settings, screen time, turn on app limits, and set all social media apps for 0 hours and 0 minutes.  You won’t be able to access those apps when you mindlessly pick up your phone to check social media.  

Go without social media of any kind for one week.  Take notice of how often you pick up your phone to check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.  

Every time you pick up your phone to check social media (and can’t), use that time to open your Bible and read. If you don’t already have a Bible reading system, I encourage you to read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and see how Jesus spent his time.  

During this week, I encourage you to engage with people around you.  Get involved in church ministry—with the worship team, the children or youth ministries, ask if you can help with an intensive cleaning of the nursery. Find any other ministry—and volunteer.  Offer to babysit for a neighbor.  Cook a meal for an overworked mom or a senior adult who may not cook for themselves. Do ministry!

After a week, only open your social media apps for 30 minutes for two days.  Record how you feel after checking social media.  

Now consider limiting your intake of social media completely…and engage with the world around you instead.

I’d love to hear your results!

I am not enough

I will never be enough. I won’t be enough as a wife. I won’t be enough as a mother. I won’t be enough as a mother-in-law. I won’t be enough as a grandmother or great-grandmother. I won’t be enough as a daughter or sister. I won’t be enough as a friend. I won’t be enough as a pastor’s wife. I won’t be enough as a counselor. I won’t be enough as an organizer. I won’t be enough as a teacher. I won’t be enough as an employee. I won’t be enough as a mentor. I won’t be enough as a money manager. I won’t be enough as a prayer warrior. I won’t visit hospitals enough. I won’t visit shut-ins enough. I won’t invite you to my home enough. I won’t plan enough parties. I won’t help enough. I just won’t. I want to…oh how I want to!! And how I’ve tried. But I won’t.  

But I wasn’t meant to be.  If I was enough, it would all depend on me. There’s only one who is enough. Jesus is enough. 

JESUS IS ENOUGH.  I am not. 

There’s freedom in understanding that.  And there’s grace to extend to you.  

Hillary the Donkey & Submission

My cousin, Shawn, posted this video this morning of his donkey, Hillary, halter breaking a new colt.  They’d been tied together for 1.5 hours and the colt was already learning submission! Hillary was a good teacher.  

I wish I could learn the same thing that quickly!  Interestingly, I was reading Ephesians 5:21-22 this morning. It says, “Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” And then God sent the visual of Hillary to make sure I understood what He was saying.  

I’ve had a resistant heart (opposite of submissive) most of my life. It’s been so hard for me to learn submission.  But as I read Ephesians this time, God began showing me the better way. He intended for His kids to work together—to be in unity. But as long as everyone wants to be the 5-Star General, it WON’T work! And if I never learn to submit to my husband, I’ll never submit to God. Just like if I don’t teach my young children to obey me, they’ll have a hard time obeying God.  

God is the Head and everyone is to submit to him. And if everyone learns to submit to Him and one another, we’ll move forward like a well-oiled machine—God’s army. In fact, the word submit infers submitting to a military command or putting yourself under someone’s authority.  

Surely I can get this down if a colt can!  Good job, Hillary.

If you are…

Have you ever been attacked? I was attacked on social media a couple of weeks ago by someone who doesn’t even know me—but said they were a Christian. If you’re like me, you get defensive and then angry. It’s so tempting to strike back in the same vein—but even harder.  

After two weeks of nursing my wounds, I finally went to God about it. He took me to Matthew 4 and the temptations of Jesus. I stopped on the very first temptation. Jesus had been fasting for 40 days and nights before Satan showed up. The first thing Satan attacked with wasn’t his hunger, necessarily…it was his identity. “IF you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”  Jesus’ identity is wrapped up in his name, Jesus, which means “Jehovah is Salvation.” Satan came saying, “Save YOURSELF!!  Prove your power. Turn this rock into a loaf of bread.”

Jesus may have become angry with righteous anger. But he knew the truth. So did Satan. Remember?  He was in heaven at one time. He knew who Jesus was and knew his purpose. At any rate, he knew Jesus’ identity which was wrapped up in his name. He’d come to be the savior for mankind, not himself. If Jesus had defended himself in anger and set out to prove who he was to Satan, he would have lost the battle. He knew that.  

Here’s what Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word which proceeds from the mouth of God.” Jesus knew there was no purpose in the short-term goal of proving who he was or in feeding his belly. He knew God’s long-term goal of saving mankind from sin. But he didn’t even feed Satan’s insatiable, hellish desires by feeding him any info about the future. He just said, “I’ll do whatever my Father tells me to do…one step at a time.” Jesus wasn’t controlled by his flesh. He walked in sync with the Father. He had no desire to prove a point with an angel which had been cast out of heaven because of sin.  

Satan will attack our identity and purpose—which is also wrapped up in our names. He’ll use people—even Christians. God is teaching me that when I become defensive, I’ve turned to my flesh. I’m in self-protective mode. Self. That should be a red light! I need to do what Jesus did. He spoke truth to Satan. He quoted scripture to him. And he revealed HIS purpose and HIS plan—to obey every word God spoke. 

I’ve still got a long way to go. It’s so easy to become defensive and want to prove WHO I AM!!  But it’s more important for the enemy to know WHO I SERVE. 

Straining Against the Yoke

I didn’t realize how MUCH I did my own thing without giving it much thought. Someone has had a hard day? Take them a meal. A grandchild is sick? Jump in the car and go help. Someone else’s house needs a carpenter? Who do I know that I can call for them? 

This morning, I was overwhelmed with needs all around me. I put on my Superwoman cape and sprang into action! The only problem was…I strained against that yoke I’d submitted to. I was going, but Jesus wasn’t. After I gave that yoke another hard push, Jesus began instructing me. 

That person having a hard day needed to hear Him. If I intervened, they’d only hear me. That sick grandchild? He needed his parents. And his parents are building spiritual muscles through this hard time. I needed to pray for them all. And the person needing a carpenter? Jesus already knew their need and as a master carpenter, He knew who to send. He also knew how to save them money. 

I know Jesus will let me be a part of helping. He wants that! But how many times have I inserted myself in a situation where I wasn’t needed or wanted—and only hindered what God was doing? Before I spring into action, I need to hear Him. I need to check my motives. I need to agree with God for what HE’S doing.

And…I need to burn that Superwoman cape.  

To Live is _________

So many things have led me to this moment. Tiredness. Studying about being “yoked” with Jesus, reading the gospels as I’ve watched The Chosen—and especially watching Jesus’ pace. But last night, I watched Dr. James Merritt on “Joy Ride” and he quoted Paul in Philippians 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Paul was saying because he lived for Christ alone here on earth, departing to heaven was only a benefit—he’d have a face-to-face walk with Jesus there.  

Dr. Merritt asked us to fill in that blank for ourselves.  He asked us to answer this:  “For to me, to live is _________.  What do we live for? What do I live for? All we have to do is look at our calendar and our bank account to know the truth. I got honest. My blank said “family.” Don’t get me wrong—I love Jesus. I try to obey him. But I haven’t stayed yoked to him. I haven’t gone at his pace. Jesus hasn’t been my sole focus—which explains my tiredness. 

What has struck me as I’ve watched The Chosen is that Jesus didn’t hurry—he wasn’t always available. He couldn’t be coerced, manipulated, or guilted into doing something. He only did what the Father told him to do. He wasn’t driven by expectations. Of course, all of that is in the Bible, but seeing it acted out in a continuous timeline has made it more obvious to me.  

This year, I want to be yoked to Jesus and go where he goes.  I want to go at his pace and rest when he rests. I want to do what he’s called me to do. 

I want to answer, “For to me, to live is CHRIST, and to die is gain!”

My Opinion on The Chosen

Last night, I posted my opinion of The Chosen and what I’ve learned from it. Your opinions came quickly. And that’s all they are—our opinions. 

Here’s what I learned years ago when my children were small. Someone said a children’s show was demonic. I took up the bandwagon, demonized the show to others, and wouldn’t allow my children to watch it. I never investigated the show for myself. Later, I was strongly convicted by God to never take another’s word—good or bad—for something without investigating it for myself.  It’s the same thing I do when pastors preach. I don’t just accept what they tell me. I investigate on my own for truth.  

You see…as believers, we have the Truth. But John told us we needed the Spirit to guide us into all the truth. (John 16:13) None of us have arrived to that place of all truth. That’s why we need each other. We need to encourage one another in truth. 

You should know that people reach out to me privately to correct me—in love. And I receive correction when it’s done in love. I know not everything I post is truth. Sometimes it sounds right until someone points out the error.  But like you, it’s hard to receive condemnation. Last night, I was personally attacked by someone who doesn’t know me, doesn’t know how much I know about the Word, nor knows how I follow Jesus.  It’s proof we need to do life with those around us. Social media is pseudo-social life. 

Interestingly, God had my attention yesterday. I had to go do something really hard. I asked Him for a word as I went. The word was in the chapter I’d read that morning—I Corinthians 16:13-14. “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.”

That’s the key. Love. It’s so hard to guard our hearts on social media. We’re not in a face-to-face encounter. We’re much bolder. We get angry quickly. We say things we’d never say if we were standing in front of that person. But God didn’t say, “Let all that you do be done with love—except on social media.”  He said ALL.  

After my best friend read some of the responses to my post about The Chosen, she said, “ Honestly.... if all I saw of church were responses on that page... I would never step foot inside a church.” That’s not love. We can do better. 

I can do better. God has given me the responsibility to manage this page. I’m the sole creator and manager of So You’re a Pastor’s Wife. I created it to encourage pastors’ wives. But I kept it an open page so the Church could understand our struggles. I don’t expect you to agree with everything I post. Of course not!! But if you choose to disagree publicly, I expect you to do it in love and with kindness. I can’t have people following this page and not wanting to go to church because of harsh or unkind comments on a Christian page for pastors’ wives. If I consider your comment to be unkind, harsh, abusive, or without love…you will be banned. 

Honestly, I’m constantly praying whether the season for this page is over. Or if I should just not allow comments.  But I want to believe the BEST for us as the Church. We need one another!!  And we should be God’s instruments of love and encouragement.  

Let’s do better.