Receive

“Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God.”  Romans 15:7. 

How hard is it for you to receive someone? What if that person has wronged you? What if that person doesn’t do things the way you want them to? What if they never meet your expectations? What if there’s a sin in their life they never overcome? What if they never ask for your forgiveness? What if they’re hateful to you or to someone you love? What if they disappoint you again and again? What if…??

I’m guilty. But you know what happens if I don’t receive someone because of their behavior? I become their judge. Instead of receiving, I resist them. And that’s not how Christ received us.  

Jesus received us when we were in sin. We were ugly. We’d wronged him. We’d disappointed him. We didn’t measure up. We were full of hate, resentment, bad attitudes, bad language, bad actions, and selfishness. We were just bad. And yet…he received us. 

My receiving you should not be based on what you do. I need to receive you because Christ did. His goodness leads us to repentance. Mine should, too. 

 

“Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

Romans 2:4

Give Place to Wrath

Isn’t it interesting that you can read a Bible verse many times and one day you think, “What does that even mean?!”  This is that verse today:

“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay,” says the Lord. 

What does it mean to “give place to wrath?” I had to look it up in Blue Letter Bible app (a handy tool that has Greek and Hebrew meanings). “Give place” means “to make space for or to create room for.” When someone comes to us full of anger which erupts all over us, we’re to create room for that. Isn’t that interesting?

This is God’s way…not the world’s way (especially not today)! The Lord then goes on to tell us HE will repay. He’ll handle it. He will avenge us. All we have to do is make space for the anger. In the very next breath, Jesus  tells us to feed our enemy (he isn’t afraid to call them what they are) or give them a drink. This will heap coals of fire on his head—or he’ll remember his sins. 

This passage ISN’T saying we should make room for an abusive relationship. This is a person coming to you “loaded for bear”—convinced they’re right and you’re wrong. And they unload in anger. Make room for that. Don’t respond. Leave it hanging in that space. Meet a need in their life later and they’ll remember their sin…and hopefully repent.  

God’s way isn’t our way. It’s higher than our way. What happens if we respond with the same level of anger as theirs? They walk away feeling justified and will probably never be convinced they were wrong. We didn’t make space for God to work. We handled it…badly. 

Do it God’s way. Give Him room to work.  

A Steadman Christmas Blizzard Pt.5

“Merry, I can’t call an ambulance…we don’t have cell service! Besides, they couldn’t make it out here—we’re having a blizzard, remember?” Of course I remembered! I wasn’t so hysterical I’d forgotten that! I just didn’t want to have baby #4 in a barn during said blizzard. But it looked like that’s exactly what was going to happen. I’d never had labor come on so quickly or decidedly. 

Caleb rushed to make me a bed of hay and threw the blanket over it and settled me on it. I yelled, “I need to push!” I grabbed his hand and dug in with my nails—and push, I did.  My only consolation was that Caleb had helped deliver every baby animal on our farm. And I knew God was with us. Caleb took the walkie talkie from me and told Katy we were fine, but we were in the process of something for our family. I’m not sure she understood what that meant, but I also knew Caleb didn’t want her worried and didn’t want the boys getting overly excited.  One more push…

I was crying unashamedly. We were both staring at Sadie Belle Steadman. Her name means “Princess-Beautiful-Farmer.” She was perfect, pink, and beautiful. “A GIRL!” Caleb said over and over.  “Who would have ever dreamed we’d have a girl?” Surprisingly, I was warm. Maybe it was all the work I’d done. But I honestly think I was covered by God’s glory. 

Caleb called Katy, “Uh, Katy. Something special has gone on out here in the barn. Could you tell the boys to get bundled up?  I want them to come see. Caleb had swaddled Sadie in my scarf and covered me with my coat. Then he opened the barn door to a beautiful starry night.  When had the blizzard stopped? Caleb went to the house and led three little shepherds to the barn. The look of wonder on their faces is something I will always treasure in my heart. 

Each boy got to take a turn holding their little sister. Caleb was already training the boys in how to care for a little girl. “Guys, little girls are so special. God has given you a responsibility as Sadie’s big brothers to guard and protect her. She’s a treasure just like you! But she requires a gentle hand. I’m so glad God gave Sadie three big brothers to help her,” he told them. 

We saw a shining light inside the barn. “A star!” Matthew yelled. But when Caleb peered out the door, he saw a snow plow with blinking lights and an ambulance behind making its way to our house.  “Boys, take care of your mom and Sadie while I go see what’s going on.”  David came and held my hand while Henry and Matthew stood guard over us. 

Sadie and I were loaded into the ambulance and headed towards the hospital. Dr. Manning had asked for special consideration to be made for Katy to get to the hospital as soon as the snow plow could safely get out. But once Katy knew of the miracle birth in the barn, she insisted we go first. Caleb and my three shepherds would follow as soon as Katy was loaded. 

Sadie wasn’t born on Christmas Day.  But her birth seemed just as miraculous as that of our Savior’s—just different. In fact, before we left the barn that quiet night, Caleb gathered our three shepherd sons near and he prayed over us, “Father, thank You for this miraculous birth in our barn.  It’s one none of us will ever forget! Thank you for taking care of Merry and bringing Sadie to us so perfectly. We Steadman men promise to cherish and care for these beautiful women in our lives. Equip us to be the men of God You want us to be. Guide us just like You guided the Wise Men in the Bible. Let the Steadman Family be the light of the world and follow You closely. In Jesus’ name, amen.” I took one last look at Caleb, Henry, Matthew, David, and baby Sadie.  And I tucked that snapshot in my heart to hold there for the rest of my life.  

The End. 

A Steadman Christmas Blizzard Pt.4

The worst blizzard in the history of Sunrise, Texas. We didn’t even need a weatherman to give us that info—which he couldn’t have anyway with zero electricity. It was day two of the blizzard and Caleb was shoveling his way to the barn which was invisible in the whiteout. I was so thankful he’d strung rope from the house to the barn for this worst case scenario. I was also grateful I’d gotten him some thick Carhartt overalls and a matching jacket for Christmas.  He was now wearing them as he shoveled. This wind and snow were nothing to mess with. It’s like we were living out the Little House on the Prairie books I’d read to the boys. I was just hoping every animal in the barn was alive. 

In the meantime, I’d helped Katy get situated for the day.  It appeared David had completely attached himself to her. He’d brought her a nativity Christmas book and she was reading it to the boys. I pressed my hand against my aching back as I got up to go do the dishes while everyone was occupied. The boys ran into the kitchen yelling over one another, “Can we be shepherds? Can we dress up? We want to see the angel and not be afraid!” So many voices at once created the perfect storm—which was equal to the one outside. So we all trooped upstairs to find robes, scarves, and sandals. David grabbed his stuffed “Lambie” which he still slept with at night. “This can be the lamb that sleeps by Jesus,” he said. For the next hour, they playacted being shepherds tending their flocks at night when the angel of the Lord appeared.  Then they journeyed to see baby Jesus and were appropriately awestruck. Katy gave stage directions from the couch. I used that time to see if I could see Caleb from the second floor window—but couldn’t. I tried calling him on his cell phone, but heard it ringing in our room. So I began cleaning the boys’ rooms and putting toys away. I saw their walkie talkies and took them with me thinking they might come in handy. I even found fresh batteries for each of them. 

I heard the boys shouting Caleb’s name. He’d finished shoveling all the way to the barn and the animals were all just fine. He’d fed them and broken the water and left them with new hay. Once dad saw the boys’ costumes, he asked them, “Well who wants to bundle up after lunch and go to the barn and make shepherd’s staffs?” Every boys’ hand was in the air and it felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room with all of their whooping! Caleb looked at me and grinned. I knew he was giving me a much-needed break.  

Grilled cheeses for everyone and the boys were bundled up and gone. Caleb had stoked the fire and Katy had settled in with a good book. I went to lay down. I was determined to be well-rested when this baby came. But I couldn’t get comfortable.

The boys came in with their new shepherd staffs and showed Katy & I how perfectly they’d sanded them. “I sanded and sanded this part,” Henry said, “and then I helped Matthew and David sand theirs!” Big brother pride was popping out of his eyes.  Then they had to show dad—with new shepherd’s staffs in hand—their play. We laughed as Matthew tripped over his robe in his haste to see the new baby Jesus.  Then dad took the staffs away as the boys started a sword fight at the end.  

Caleb went to feed the animals after dinner.  “Please take your cell phone this time,” I begged.  “When I couldn’t see you out the window and then when it took so long to shovel, I was worried. I want to be able to know what’s going on.” So he did. The boys were on their sleeping bags in front of the fire playing Candy Land—still in their shepherd’s costumes sans the staffs. 

Caleb had been gone about ten minutes when my cell phone rang. I heard him say, “Merry, I need you…” *static.* The phone was dead. I tried calling twice but my phone was now saying, “No service.” I went into the living room as I was putting on my coat, scarf, hat, boots, and gloves and tried to appear calm. “Katy, Caleb needs me in the barn.”  She knew. My eyes always gave me away. “Go—GO,” she said, “the boys and I will be fine. But take this throw and this blanket—you don’t know what he needs.” I remembered the walkie talkies! I ran to grab them and told Katy to call me if she needed me and I’d do the same. I told her if there was a need, she could send Henry out. ”Make sure Henry is bundled well if we need him. And I promise to be careful,” I told her. 

I opened the door to wind and ice which cut across my face. I shielded myself with the blanket and stepped out. I was trying to be so careful, but my big belly just made everything awkward. I finally opened the door to the barn and said, “Caleb,” and my eyes got big and I doubled over. Caleb rushed to me and pulled me into  the barn and closed the door. I couldn’t move. A contraction hit so hard it took my breath away. 

“Caleb, I think the baby is coming.” I moaned.

A Steadman Christmas Blizzard Pt.3

“CALEB!! It’s Katy Brown—on her horse!!” I was looking out the window as the blizzard continued to swirl over Steadman Farm and couldn’t believe my eyes! Why was Katy Brown, a widow and tough cattle rancher, riding a horse to our farm? Something had to be wrong. Caleb had already pulled on his boots and coat and was out the door to see why Katy was riding her prized horse, Willie, bareback in four feet of snow with very little visibility. Caleb was reaching up to help Katy off her horse and was struggling to get her in the house. Her leg was broken! What in the world? And how did she get on her horse?

Katy began answering questions after we got her inside and on the couch wrapped in blankets. Caleb had situated Willie in the barn and then dug out his old boot he’d worn when he’d sprained his ankle. It was a little big, but at least it would keep Katy’s leg stabilized.  She told us, “I’d gone to the barn to milk the cow and she was agitated. I was trying to figure out why when she kicked me. She’d never done that before. I knew my leg was broken—and that dadgum cow took off through the open barn door. I called Blayne and asked him to find her and milk her and lock her up.  He has one of those new-fangled snowmobiles, you know, and likes to use it at the drop of a hat.“ I couldn’t help but ask, “So why didn’t you ask Blayne to bring you here instead of climbing on your horse with a broken leg?” “I don’t trust those things! And I knew Caleb wouldn’t mind letting Willie stay in his barn,” she said. “Plus I knew I couldn’t manage on my own until this dadgum blizzard stopped.” “But how in the world did you get on your horse,” Caleb asked. “I’ve trained Willie to bow down to say his prayers,” Katy replied, “He bowed down, I climbed on.”  Ok. That made perfect sense. 

We’d given Katy some pain medication and she was snoring softly near the fire even though our home wasn’t quiet. The boys were running up and down the stairs and wielding their flashlights as swords. She was exhausted. Stew was simmering on the gas stove and Caleb and I had convened in the kitchen to discuss our new plans. There was no way we could get Katy to the doctor—so we called her doctor and made him aware of her condition. He told us to ice her leg several times a day and to keep her medicated—even if it was only with Tylenol. We’d meet at the ER when the blizzard stopped and we could all travel again. In the meantime, Blayne would help her out with her milk cow and cattle on his trusty snowmobile. Thank goodness our cell phones were still working! And thank goodness Caleb had invested in a solar phone charger. 

The stew and cornbread had hit the spot for all of us. We were gathered around the fire with our sleeping bags and pillows. Without electricity, the fireplace had become our central living space. Caleb had filled an air mattress for me to sleep on since he said I “was great with child.” I was grateful…but I didn’t know how much it was going to help my aching back. It just would not stop hurting—and hot baths were a thing of the past with no electricity. Caleb was reading Luke’s account of Jesus’ birth to all of us. He read, “And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold an Angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.”  Henry interrupted, “I wouldn’t be afraid! I wish I’d been there.” Matthew and David chimed in with their, “Yeah!” “We wouldn’t be afraid either!” Caleb didn’t finish reading Luke but spent some time talking about shepherds and their responsibilities and what it would really be like if an Angel of the Lord appeared to us. And then Caleb used an old trick he’d learned from his youth minister at camp when trying to get a room full of boys asleep at night. He prayed a really long (and yet, heartfelt) prayer until every boy was asleep. Even Katy had fallen asleep. Caleb and I quietly made our way to the kitchen. 

Caleb held me in his arms and gently rubbed my back. Tears were filling my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.  When he bent to kiss me, he pulled away and asked, “What’s wrong?” I could hardly get the words out but finally said, “Oh I don’t know…maybe I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant, we’re stuck in our house in a blizzard with three rambunctious boys, now we have the responsibility of Katy, it’s almost Christmas, and my back hurts! It never hurt like this in any of my other pregnancies.” And I couldn’t hold the convulsive crying back any longer.  Caleb sat down and pulled me into his lap. He gently told me, “Merry, I love you. I’m so sorry your back hurts—you’re doing too much! Tomorrow, the boys and I will cook breakfast. You stay in your little bed and get some extra sleep for you and this baby. We’re going to make it through this, I promise.  Praise God we have a warm house and three healthy, rambunctious boys. Praise God Katy got to us safely and we have room for her and can help her. And praise God you’re healthy and great with child.  Pretty soon we’ll have another baby to hold in our arms! Our life is pretty perfect in spite of this blizzard. And just think of the stories we’ll have to tell our grandchildren!” Caleb always knew how to make me laugh. The crisis was over—for tonight. And I really thought I could sleep in spite of having an air mattress for a bed. 

I got up and kissed my husband. I was grateful. Grateful I had Caleb by my side through any storm of life. We held hands and walked into the living room—and saw the most amazing sight. The fire was glowing; it’s light was reflecting on the ornaments on the Christmas tree. Two little boys were snug in their sleeping bags near the tree. But David had moved his sleeping bag next to the couch where Katy was sleeping and had his hand in hers.  

“Glory to God in the highest. And on earth, peace, goodwill toward men.”

A Steadman Christmas Blizzard Pt.2

My eyes were still closed and I hadn’t stretched or moved in my warm snuggly bed. It was that delicious in-between moment I treasure. But I felt a small, warm breath next to my ear and heard David whisper, “Mommy, it’s shnowing!” I smiled before my eyes popped open. “It is?” I asked. “Show me, David!” His little grin appeared and he took my hand and led me to the window. Sure enough—it was shnowing. 

It snowed slowly at first and caused Steadman Farms to look like a winter wonderland. It was pristine as it fell without any wind to cause drifts. After we went downstairs, Caleb told the boys, “Boots and saddles, boys! We’ve got cows and horses to feed and I need your help.” Every Steadman male squirmed as they put arms in sleeves, feet in boots, and hands in mittens. But they were dressed and I was looking forward to a 30-minute reprieve. The boys whooped and hollered as they ran out into the snow. I watched until the first snowball was thrown and turned to start breakfast.  Then I hoped to put my feet up a few minutes. 

Caleb was determined to teach the boys to love farming at a young age. So everything he did with them was a teachable moment and he made them do actual chores. We believed it was healthy for children to help support the family enterprise with age-appropriate hard work. Henry loved to fork hay to the animals and the twins took turns pouring water into troughs—and all over themselves. Caleb later told me that the twins teeth were chattering (mostly because they’d gotten themselves wet) and began asking to go to the house early. “Boys, we can’t go in until all the chores are done. And we have to stay together to make it through the snow and not fall,” Caleb told them. Henry replied, “I don’t care if I fall—I’d just make a snow angel on the ground!” And then they were all clammering, “Can we make snow angels?” The animals were all ok.  

That was the last of the tame and gentle snow. By noon, the wind arrived and we were being pummeled by fierce snow. Frosty wouldn’t have stayed out in it! After lunch, Caleb told the boys, “It’s nap time, boys. You need some rest and Mom & I need to make some phone calls. So no getting up. If you can’t sleep, you can read a book. Give me a BIG hug before you go up.”  Those boys loved books. I suspected each boy would read until their tired eyes drooped.  

I could tell Caleb was getting nervous. We hadn’t had a storm like this in…well, ever.  The first person Caleb called was Jake Leathers, the man who’d trained him in farming. Jake told him, “Caleb, we’ve done all we can to prepare. Now it’s in the good Lord’s hands. I suggest you make sure you’ve got enough firewood by the back door so it’s easy to get to. We just need to pray no pipes burst and no animals die.” Caleb put on his coat and went out to heed Jake’s advice. And while he was out, he checked on the animals.  “So far, so good,” he told me when he came in. 

Feet were pounding on the stairs as three little boys ran in squealing, “Can we build a snowman?” Caleb had to break the news, “Sorry guys! The snow is coming too hard and too fast. It’s not safe. I’m sure we’ll get to build a snowman soon, but not today.” Instead they helped their dad stoke the fire and Matthew asked, “Can we make popcorn in the fire bowl thingy?” So Matthew got to help with the first round of popcorn while the other boys helped me make hot chocolate for everyone. This was cozy. As I sat down, I thought, “I really must have overdone it yesterday racing from one grocery store to the next trying to find everything I needed.” My neck was tense and my back seemed to be having spasms. It felt good to sit down. I decided to take a hot bath later. The boys were tossing popcorn in the air to see how many dad could catch.  He was pretty good at this game—he loved popcorn. We could see the snow, watch the roaring fire, enjoy the company of one another, and hear the eerie wind howl. And then…

The lights went out. 

A Steadman Christmas Blizzard Pt.1

“Henry, NOOOOOO!!!” I tried to stop my six-year-old son from tracking manure in from the barn—it was an almost daily occurrence. That boy is his father’s son! His love for animals, fields, tractors—and preaching—filled our home daily. Fortunately, the home we’d purchased from Mr. Troyer was large enough to contain every object Henry brought in from his excursions around the farm. Unfortunately, his twin brothers caught the brunt of the daily sermons Henry preached to assert his big brother status. 

The twins had come three years after Henry was born. And they came in this order:

Matthew Zechariah Steadman (5 lbs. 4 oz.) and

David Jeremiah Steadman (4 lbs. 3 oz.). Caleb and I were careful in choosing our children’s names because we believed their spiritual DNA was wrapped up in those names. Matthew’s name means: Gift of God—God remembers—Farmer. David’s name means: Beloved—God is lifted high—Farmer. They were born while Caleb was trying to get the cotton planted that year, so my mom and Caleb’s mom took turns helping us out. I don’t ever remember being as sleep-deprived as I was in those early days. But…we survived!

Even though the twins are identical, their personalities are completely opposite. Matthew is the adventurer and learned to climb to the top of the fridge early. I walked outside one day and heard his little voice say, “Look at me, Mommy!”  He was hanging upside down from a tall tree branch. I tried not to gasp and make him fall. I never knew where I was going to find that boy! His laugh is as big as his heart. David, on the other hand, is quiet and easily entertained. Give him a toy he has to figure out and he is quiet for hours. He has such a gentle spirit—I have to make sure he isn’t overlooked by Caleb & I or overwhelmed by Henry & Matthew. If Matthew can’t engage his twin brother to go on an adventure, he’ll follow his big brother out the door while yelling, “Wait for ME!!”. Henry takes his job as big brother seriously. He’ll say, “Matthew, don’t pick up the big worms—you’re too little!!”  I never know what I’ll find in the pockets of those two on laundry day. 

All of the boys love riding in the tractor with their daddy. Caleb seldom takes all three. It’s just too crazy. But the boys get to take turns riding in the tractor and we often switch boys when we take lunch to daddy in the fields. Caleb is gentle yet firm with the boys. He wants them to learn to love the land like he does, but to also learn to respect each piece of machinery on our property. He often tells them, “God gave us these things to take care of them. We never misuse them or leave things out to rust. Always put everything back where you got it.” Matthew just has a hard time remembering. 

When Jason & Jennifer Wilson, our youth minister and his wife, come to our home with Jude, the noise level skyrockets!  Jude is just two weeks younger than the twins. Those three had given Miss Shirley even more gray hair while keeping them in the church nursery. Good thing she’d married George—she roped him into giving her a hand trying to tame those boys. She wasn’t shy either—she’d come to the back of the auditorium and tap her watch at Caleb if she’d had enough!

Jason told us when he dropped by, “You know that storm that’s pushing it’s way in? It’s been upgraded to a blizzard category!” Caleb and I looked at each other. I could tell he wasn’t surprised by that information and had been protecting me. I was instantly wondering how well-stocked we were with food and wood for the fireplace. But my BIGGEST worry was, “How will we get to the hospital?” I was pregnant again and due January 1–just two weeks away. This time, we both agreed we didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby. After three boys, we just assumed. I knew I was destined to be a “boy mom.” I packed a canister of Christmas cookies for Jason to take home and sat down to make out a list. I’d need to make a trip to the grocery store while Caleb went to string rope from the house to the barn with the help of his sons. We couldn’t afford to lose livestock during a blizzard—and they’d need food and water twice a day. The rope would guide Caleb in case of a whiteout. I needed to remember to get batteries for the boys’ flashlights! That always kept them entertained. And we certainly needed extra lights when our electricity went out—which happened with the slightest wind. My part-time preacher-husband, Caleb, planned to call church members and make sure everyone was ok and well-stocked—and to advise everyone we’d cancel church if a blizzard came. We would be ready. Christmas was coming…a blizzard was coming…and a baby was coming. If only baby #4 would wait until a blizzard melted.