Not Attached to Outcome

Not Attached to Outcome.  I first heard this phrase from my good friend, Jan Stockdale—and I recently read a book using the same phrase.  

Maybe I need to explain what it is and what it’s not.  Let’s look at Jesus and Judas.  Jesus invited Judas to follow him—and even discipled him.  But Jesus gave Judas space to make his own choices.  He wasn’t attached to the outcome.  

Did Jesus WANT Judas to follow him?  Absolutely!   Did Jesus pray for Judas? Yes!  Did Jesus encourage him?  Of course. Did Jesus speak truth into Judas’ life?  You know he did.  Jesus loved Judas and offered all that he was to him.  But he also made space for Judas’ choice.  There was no coercion, no guilt, no manipulation.  Jesus offered and then let Judas decide—for better or for worse.  

I realize I’ve been very “attached to outcome.”  I care very much about the outcome of the choices of my family, my close friends, and my church.  I want them to succeed, to love God with all of their hearts, and to live righteous lives. 

Now I can pray that way—and should pray that way. I should even teach them truth and disciple them. But once I become attached to the outcome of those things, I begin applying pressure (even subconsciously), or I distance myself from them because I disapprove of their choices.    

Living a life “not attached to the outcome” means I’m going to love these people regardless of their choices.  I’m going to pray for them, walk with them, help them, and encourage them.  If God allows each of us choices KNOWING we may not choose him…how can I carry expectations for the choices of others?  Those expectations will eventually turn into coercion, guilt, manipulation, or abandonment.  

You can walk in faith and still not be attached to outcome.  You can pray and still not be attached to the outcome. You can teach truth and still not be attached to the outcome. You can even grieve over others’ choices and not be attached to the outcome. It’s trusting God and His relationship with that person.  I can respect their relationship without imposing myself in the middle of it.  It really boils down to this…do I trust God?  Am I willing to let others make their own choices? Or…do I want to control everyone around me?

Caring about the outcome usually happens when Satan reminds me of how someone else’s choice may affect me.  And then I have to remind him:  NATO…Not Attached to Outcome. After all, Judas’ choices greatly affected Jesus. God had already told Jesus that his plan included the cross for his reconciliation to mankind—and it would have happened one way or another. Jesus just made space for Judas’ choice.  

Spring Festival

I was in 6th grade  in 1967 and had been through the traumatic experience of moving across town in Pampa, Texas and changing schools from Woodrow Wilson Elementary to Lamar Elementary.  Sixth grade was the last year of elementary school and most of the kids at Lamar had gone to school together since 1st grade (we didn't have kindergarten then).  And I moved after school started and was thrown into that mix.  My saving grace that year was my music teacher, Sue Higdon.  Apparently, my music teacher at Wilson had told her I played piano because she was ready to hook me up as soon as I stepped into the classroom (which also gave me some standing with my new peers).  I'd had piano lessons for all of two years. HA!  But apparently, I had enough skills to accompany the songs we sang. We'd moved in the fall of that year and the choir was already preparing songs for Pampa's annual Spring Festival.

Pampa's Spring Festival was one of the biggest musical events of the town--the other being the high school musical--all under the direction of Dr. Hugh Sanders.  But the Spring Festival was a concert of all of the choirs from elementary to high school and the junior high and high school bands which took place in the high school gym.  The bands were on the floor and the elementary and junior high choirs sat on the lower spectator risers while the high school choir in their gowns and tuxes had the prestigious risers placed in the center of the gym under the west basketball goal.  There were individual songs sung by the combined elementary schools, the junior high schools and the high school.  But the grand finale was a song sung by all of the combined schools and accompanied by the bands.  There were probably a dozen pianos scattered across the high school gym floor which the respective pianists of the schools played...of which I was one.  Imagine!  Me--a twelve-year-old in the midst of this grandness--the biggest thing Pampa did each year!

It was more nerve-wracking playing for the elementary schools' songs.  Of course, there were probably six more accompanists playing with me (of which some were adults), but I knew my mistakes would stand out more.  I'd practiced my heart out and was ready to give the performance of a lifetime.  And my mistakes were barely noticeable in the grand scheme of things.  But probably one of the greatest moments of my life at that time was accompanying the grand finale with all twelve pianos playing together with the band.  I was probably the only person who could even hear my piano. But a young twelve-year-old girl got to experience being a part of something BIG--something bigger than herself.  And the grandness of that moment was an experience I'll never forget!  And because I was made a part of something so magnificent, I caught the vision of eventually wearing a gown and singing and playing in the high school concert choir.  Which I did.

I was thinking on this experience this morning and was comparing it in my mind to the body of Christ.  What if we graced young believers this way?  What if their contributions were received and appreciated as much as those of the mature believers?  What if their mistakes were overlooked or not even noticed?  What if we enveloped them into the big picture of what God is doing and they felt important, loved, accepted...needed?  What if they caught the vision?

I finished my 6th grade year as an accepted member of my new class.  I can thank my music teacher for that.

Take Time

Can I encourage you in something?   

Take. Time. With. God.  

Take a day, a weekend, a week—whatever this season in your life allows!  Get away or send your family away on an extended family visit.  Have some undivided time with God!  Turn your phone off.  Turn the TV off.  Put the book down. Keep it simple.  Take your Bible and journal and spend time hearing God’s Word to YOU!!   He has things to say. Let him bring healing. Let him massage your heart. Let him guide you. Let him encourage you.  As things get harder, we need more time alone with God—not less.  Take Time.

Hagar & The God Who Sees Me

Hagar was Sarai’s servant.  She had no voice and no choice.  She was given to Sarai’s husband, Abram, to conceive a child for Sarai.  She’s the first recorded surrogate in the Bible.  But she had no choice in the very fleshly decision Sarai & Abram made. 

When Hagar became pregnant, she became contentious towards Sarai—which only made her mistress angry and abusive.  Hagar ran away—she ran to a well of water in the wilderness. God found her there.  He asked a question he’s since asked me. “Where have you come from, and where are you going?”

Stop and ask yourself that question.  Where have you come from?   Who are you?  What has shaped you? Who invested in you?   What did they invest?  What has caused you to be who you are right now?   And maybe…what are you running away from?

And now answer this:  Where are you going?  What do you want?  What changes will you make? For what intent and purpose has God created you?  Who will you follow?   How do you get there?

At the end of this conversation with God, Hagar declares, “You are the God who sees me!”  She’d been invisible; a tool to be used at the whim of others.  But God…the God who sees…saw her.  He saw her situation.  And he loved her.  He cared.  And he had a plan.  

God sees you, too. 

Yoked through Trauma

Many of us have walked through trauma this past year.  Some have had compounded trauma—or grief upon grief. It feels a lot like walking through sticky mud—it sucks at your feet and makes moving a chore.  It’s some of the hardest work you’ll ever do.  Walking through trauma can increase your heart rate and make breathing difficult.  Sleep becomes a wistful memory and seems completely unattainable.  Trauma clouds your thinking.  It can make you want to isolate yourself.  It can make you want to return to old crutches—which were some of Satan’s most diabolical traps. Honestly…it can feel like a boa constrictor choking the life out of you. After all, that’s Satan’s evil plan. 

But here’s the good news: if you choose to be yoked to Jesus, he will be your security—and your security guard.  Jesus will be your stability and stay right beside you—always.  He will carry the heavy load and help pull you through that glutinous mess.  He is powerful and no enemy is strong enough to stop him.  Being yoked also provides lots of time to talk. He will be your best counselor—constantly listening quietly, but offering truth which will set you free.  (Just know God also encourages you to seek godly human counselors. Proverbs 11:14; 12:15)  He will never leave you.  He won’t give up on you. He won’t forsake you and leave you in the muddy mess.  He’s committed to getting you through it—making you stronger and better than you were before.  

I won’t lie.  It will be hard work. It can take time (and most assuredly will take time). But being yoked to Jesus is the very best decision you can make after trauma. It’s a choice YOU have to make.  But he will be committed.  He won’t let you stay where you are.  He will gently, but surely, bring you through it. He will lead you to firm and solid ground. He is Life, Hope, and Peace—and you are yoked to all He is. 

He’s offering you abundant life!  He’s also offering victory over trauma—true healing. His goal is to completely heal you so you can help and encourage others coming behind you.  Stay yoked to Jesus.  He will never fail. 

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).”  John 10:10

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”    

II Corinthians 1:4 NLT

Cain’s Anger

Cain was angry.  He was angry at God. You see, his brother, Abel, had found favor with God because of his sacrifice and he hadn’t.  

In Genesis 4, it says that Cain brought his sacrifice of fruit from the ground to God in the process of time.  Other interpretations say “in the course of time.”  The Hebrew says “at the end of time.”  So it wasn’t acceptable because it wasn’t his firstfruit.  Some theologians say because it wasn’t a blood sacrifice, it wasn’t acceptable.  Either way, we have to assume Cain knew what to bring and when to bring it.   But he disobeyed.  

Not only was his offering unacceptable, but his younger brother’s sacrifice was acceptable.  And it made him angry.  God confronted his anger.  He told him if he’d just obey, he’d have no need to be angry.  He also told him he should rule over his anger before it ruled over him. 

Cain took his anger out on Abel.  He killed him.  It was the first murder of mankind.  But with whom was Cain really angry?  Abel?  God?  Himself?

I don’t know about you, but when I read this story again this morning, this was my warning: identify your anger.  You may think you’re angry with someone who’s found favor.  Or you may be angry with God because he hasn’t favored you. But the real root of the problem may be that you’ve disobeyed God—and you didn’t get away with it. 

Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil

When Satan came to the garden to tempt Eve, he was basically saying, “You’re missing out!   God is holding out on you.  If you want to be like God, eat from this tree and you’ll know both good AND evil.”   Now God had created Adam and Eve in His image.  They were already “like” God.  But it was true that they only knew good.  Evil had been withheld from them. And that was God’s original intent.  

Can you imagine knowing only good?   What would that kind of purity look like?  Life.  Peace.  Satisfaction. Deep relationship. Delight!  That’s all Adam and Eve had known. 

Eve wasn’t the only one tempted that day. Adam was standing right there throughout the whole ordeal.  And he remained quiet.  He never attempted to stop Eve.  He never reminded her of God’s command to not eat from that tree—or they would die.  She ate.  And then she gave the fruit to her husband.  And he ate.  At that moment, spiritual death, shame, covetous desire, fear, awareness of sin, and rebellion were awakened in man.  And since that time, an insatiable appetite for desire has replaced peace and satisfaction in our world.  Everything they’d known was lost.    

I can’t blame Adam and Eve.  Neither can you.  If it had been Andy and Becky, we would have made the very same choice.  Satan knows how to tempt us.  “God is holding out on you.”  His tactic hasn’t changed.  But here’s what I know…God’s plan all along has been to bring us back to that place of life, purity, peace, satisfaction, deep relationship, and delight!  It’s available if you’ve surrendered to Jesus. And it’s in our future in heaven—perfect and complete—the way God always intended.  

A Yoked Wild Run

Being yoked with Jesus isn’t always safe.  Don’t mistake what I’m saying.  Jesus is safe…but he’s also wildly adventurous and isn’t afraid of going places you never would have chosen to go. It can be a crazy ride!!   Scary, even.  He doesn’t mind taking seemingly out-of-control runs through deep waters and dark valleys. The comforting thing is that you’re yoked to him.  He will never leave you.  He even knows the way and his footing is secure.  In fact, he’s the only secure part of these whirlwind rides.  

I think the point of these wild runs is to teach us that we can trust him even when we feel so out of control. He’s always in control…and we never were.  But being yoked to him is our security, our safety.  And we learn.  We learn that he is safe even when these hard, scary places aren’t.  Our only safe place is being yoked to him.

You might be a Pharisee if…

You might be a Pharisee if…

•Your actions don’t match your sermon. 

•You lay burdens on your listeners. 

•You don’t help carry the burdens of others. 

•You like to be seen. 

•You want the best seat at any function. 

•You love a good title for yourself.  

•You shut the kingdom of heaven to men.  

•You take advantage of widows.  

•You pray long prayers in pretense.  

•You go to other countries to win a convert and then bind him in legalism.  

•You’ve lost perspective on what’s important. 

•You focus on minutiae instead of justice, mercy, and faith.  

•You look good on the outside but are corrupt on the inside.  

•You are dead inside.  

•You are like your murderous fathers.  

Matthew 23

Still Yoked

There’s so much to learn about being yoked.  But one thing I didn’t know is that you can look at one another while yoked together.  Let me tell you how I learned.  

I’d been hurt. I don’t even remember the details because I didn’t write the details in my journal—and so much has happened since then.  But I was hurt by someone.  

Jesus told me this, “Becky, look at me.  As long as you focus on the person who hurt you, you’ll become like them.  It’s like a mirror you hold up to examine.  Put the image down.  No more.  Hold up MY image.  Look at me. Free yourself to become the best you.  I want you to become like ME!!  You can choose how you react and respond.  Don’t be like those who hurt you.  Be lowly and gentle.  Let me deal with them.  You take away their power when you turn to me.”

That’s when I learned you can turn and look at the person with whom you’re yoked.