Day 25 of 30 Days of Praise

I'm praising God today for the wise men at Living Water who were brave enough to answer my questions about men!  (You're gonna love this.  And I know some of you guys are stalking this page---you're loving the fact that I'm learning how to "respect" and encouraging  your wife to do the same!)

If you haven't read the book, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan, you need to!  Her book was born out of interviewing men for a fiction book she was writing.  She was so blown away by what she found out, that she decided if she hadn't known these things, most women didn't know them either.  So she wrote For Women Only.

I decided to try my own hand at interviews.  So I took my questions to G&G (both of these guys are older than me) at Living Water Wednesday morning.  Somehow, they got the idea that I was interviewing them because I was going to teach this to some young women.  (I didn't want them to freak out!!)  I asked them what "respect" looked like to a man.  Interestingly, they were hesitant to get into this conversation---which really surprised me!  Their first answer was that we need to allow our men to be the spiritual leaders of the home.  They said that we shouldn't "run down" our husbands or talk about our husbands to other women.  They were very adamant that we should build our husbands up.  In fact, (they said this very secretively) they said that if we build them up, they'll work hard to get more of that praise.  The younger G (about 65) said that men have very big egos.  And the more we build them up, the more they'll want to please us.

The oldest G (about 78) said that our first allegiance must be to God.  If our husbands ask us to do something that is against the Word of God, we must obey God and not man.  They both began a side note that if you're a believing wife married to an unbelieving husband, you're living in "double jeapordy."  You're having to be the spiritual leader for your children and still try to respect your husband as the leader of your home.  I thought that terminology was very interesting.

Because they were so hesitant to get into practical ideas of respect, I decided to approach it a different way.  I asked them what disrespect looked like to them.  (This got interesting!)  They said one of the worst ways to disrespect your husband is to do anything in public that was disrespectful....such as rolling your eyes, your sarcasm, your jokes that put him down, your tone of voice, your disdain.  That not only disrespects your husband, but encourages others to think of him that way.  They also said to interrupt your husband when he's trying to tell you something (even if you think you know where he's going w/ his story!) is highly disrespectful.  In fact, the younger G got red-faced telling me this one!

I asked them what they thought of a wife who disagreed with or corrected their husband.  They said they didn't think there were many men who had a problem with a wife disagreeing with or correcting their husbands, but it was the "HOW and the WAY" they did it!  They said tone of voice, body language, attitude are all important when speaking to him.  They said it's very important to choose your timing.  In fact, God has already been teaching me this one----to give God the first opportunity to correct your husband!  Too often, I jump in where God won't even go!!  G&G told me that marriage is made stronger with this kind of interchange.  But you need to be just as willing to be corrected by your husband.

There's more, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow.  Wow!  I never dreamed what I'd find out from 2 wise men in Borger Wednesday!  Very enlightening.

Father, thank You for G&G and their wisdom and their willingness to talk to me, to instruct me.  Bless them, God.  Bless their marriages.  Bless our marriages, Father!!  Make us respectful wives.  Make ME a respectful wife.  Help me to choose my tone and my timing carefully.  Quicken my spirit when I'm in the middle of a situation to hear You!!  I love you, Daddy!  In Jesus' name, Amen.