Day 18 of 30 Days of Praise

I had a real life example of "what not to do to my husband" yesterday while I was at work at Living Water.  There's an older man who was in our church that I just love!  I'll call him Harry.  He reminded me alot of my dad (who has gone to be with the Lord), and I'd told him that.  We have a great relationship.  He volunteered at Living Water, so I saw him 2-3 times a week as he came up to help.  A few months ago, he and his wife (I'll call her Betty) moved to a retirement center in Amarillo.  I was so sad to see Harry leave, but knew it was a wonderful thing for them, so we sent them off with our blessing.  I really hadn't gotten to know this couple at our church because I had no occasion to be around them much.  But since I'd started directing Living Water a year ago, I'd gotten to know Harry, but still hadn't gotten to know Betty well.

Well, yesterday, they dropped by Living Water to see me.  Actually, Harry had tried to get there earlier to see all the guys, but Betty just wouldn't get around soon enough for them to make it earlier. (This had happened once before, too----they'd miss the guys by minutes!)  Now...in the past when Harry was coming to Living Water to volunteer, the guys would sit around for 30-45 minutes after working to drink coffee, talk and pray and I'd come in on the tail end of their time and chat and/or pray with them.  It's been one of my favorite times!  I'd recognized the wisdom these men had and would ask them question after question.  I've learned so much through them.  And Harry was one of those men with that wisdom.

Well, I've learned that it's hard to get a question in edge-wise with Betty.  She monopolizes the conversation and tells things about Harry that embarrasses him.  She brought some of his slacks to donate to LW because "Harry's eating so much at this retirement center that he's outgrown all his clothes!  I keep trying to keep tabs on him, but he won't listen."  She also said, "It's a good thing I'm not a jealous woman.  All these women at the retirement center keep telling me what a wonderful man I'm married to."  And this was said in a way that questioned their sanity.  I would try to gear questions to Harry to include him in the conversation, but Betty would jump in with an answer before Harry could talk.

Harry never said much.  He looked at the floor alot.  You could tell he was grieved that we didn't get to have a quality conversation.  I was too.  Before he left, he came to me and hugged me and as he was hugging me, he quietly said, "Becky, you and Andy are so special to me.  You are welcome to come see us anytime!"

I've thought alot about that time with Harry & Betty since yesterday.  I know what a wise man he is.  I've heard him talk about his time in the army with humility.  (He got lots of medals.)  In fact, he's just a humble man.  He'd bring banana nut bread every Friday for all the volunteers.  For months, I told him every week to thank Betty for the banana nut bread.  One week, I wrote her a thank-you note and that's when I found out that she wasn't making it---he was!  But he'd never correct us and take the credit.  He has so much to offer those around him----if he had the opportunity!  

Wow!  How often do I interfere with who my husband is...or could be?  It's made me examine my own life and allow God to probe into my heart and mind and uncover my hidden sins.  It makes me sad for Harry.  What a great guy!  And yet his wife casts aspersions on him.  I hurt for Betty, too.  She's missing out.  If she followed her husband's lead, she would become much gentler and learn to listen!  What could they become as "one?"  

Father, thank you for lessons---even in the negative.  Help me learn from my friends.  Make me a listener.  I want to have the kind of humility Harry has.  I want to build up my husband.  God, You know my flesh.  You know it doesn't want to do this or learn how to be this way.  So help me!!  Bind up my flesh and make me alive to Your Spirit!  And Father, would You please bless Harry?  Would you motivate Betty to get to Borger earlier next time so Harry can see his buddies?  Help Betty to listen, too.  I come in agreement for what You already desire for me in this, God.  Thank you.  I love you, Daddy!  In Jesus' name, Amen.