Not Attached to Outcome

Not Attached to Outcome.  I first heard this phrase from my good friend, Jan Stockdale—and I recently read a book using the same phrase.  

Maybe I need to explain what it is and what it’s not.  Let’s look at Jesus and Judas.  Jesus invited Judas to follow him—and even discipled him.  But Jesus gave Judas space to make his own choices.  He wasn’t attached to the outcome.  

Did Jesus WANT Judas to follow him?  Absolutely!   Did Jesus pray for Judas? Yes!  Did Jesus encourage him?  Of course. Did Jesus speak truth into Judas’ life?  You know he did.  Jesus loved Judas and offered all that he was to him.  But he also made space for Judas’ choice.  There was no coercion, no guilt, no manipulation.  Jesus offered and then let Judas decide—for better or for worse.  

I realize I’ve been very “attached to outcome.”  I care very much about the outcome of the choices of my family, my close friends, and my church.  I want them to succeed, to love God with all of their hearts, and to live righteous lives. 

Now I can pray that way—and should pray that way. I should even teach them truth and disciple them. But once I become attached to the outcome of those things, I begin applying pressure (even subconsciously), or I distance myself from them because I disapprove of their choices.    

Living a life “not attached to the outcome” means I’m going to love these people regardless of their choices.  I’m going to pray for them, walk with them, help them, and encourage them.  If God allows each of us choices KNOWING we may not choose him…how can I carry expectations for the choices of others?  Those expectations will eventually turn into coercion, guilt, manipulation, or abandonment.  

You can walk in faith and still not be attached to outcome.  You can pray and still not be attached to the outcome. You can teach truth and still not be attached to the outcome. You can even grieve over others’ choices and not be attached to the outcome. It’s trusting God and His relationship with that person.  I can respect their relationship without imposing myself in the middle of it.  It really boils down to this…do I trust God?  Am I willing to let others make their own choices? Or…do I want to control everyone around me?

Caring about the outcome usually happens when Satan reminds me of how someone else’s choice may affect me.  And then I have to remind him:  NATO…Not Attached to Outcome. After all, Judas’ choices greatly affected Jesus. God had already told Jesus that his plan included the cross for his reconciliation to mankind—and it would have happened one way or another. Jesus just made space for Judas’ choice.