Ministry & Friends

What have you been taught about friendships as a pastor’s wife?  Were you told to not make friends with those in your church because it could create jealousy?   Were you advised to avoid confiding in parishioners because you could end up being the main course at their dinner that night?  Were you cautioned to spread yourself around and not limit yourself to one or two friends?   How have YOU handled friendships in the church?

I was given much of the advise above.  But it just didn’t feel right.  I HAVE to have friends.  And I need deep friendships—it’s just who I am.  So I decided to look at the life of Jesus and I was encouraged by what I discovered.  

Jesus chose twelve friends.  Actually, it was twelve men he wanted to mentor—but I think he knew or expected they would become his closest friends.  Out of those twelve, he had three closer friends—Peter, James, & John.  And out of his three closest friends (that he wasn’t afraid to call out for private times), he had a best friend named John.  John even called himself “the disciple Jesus loved.”

I was so encouraged when I understood Jesus and his friendships.  Of course, he reached out to many people and made himself available to the masses but he spent quality time with those he was mentoring—he wanted to give them a part of himself.  

Invest yourself in others and allow them to invest in you!  Make friends!  Have CLOSE friends.  It’s even ok to have a BEST friend. You’ll have to be vulnerable and you may even be wounded or sold out.  After all, Judas did that to Jesus.  But Jesus would have chosen Judas all over again. Friendships are worth the risk.