Ever-Changing

One of my life goals is to always be growing, ever-changing.  I never want to become critical or set in my ways.  This past Tuesday, my prayer partners and I talked about growing old....not older...old.  We decided we wanted to be full of grace and love, flexible and thankful.  We wanted to be able to celebrate the differences we saw in people instead of comparing and being cynical or grouchy.  We wanted to hold things loosely and not become so attached to things that we're unwilling to move on or let go.  Mainly, we want to trust God with our lives.

When I was in my 20's, I watched one of my spiritual mentors grow older--Mrs. Somerville.  I erroneously thought that when you reached about 55-years-old, you just had it all together and had life figured out.  It was actually the perception people that age gave me.  I remember Mrs. Somerville laughing at me.  She told me she'd be trying to figure it out when she died.  And I guess she was.  I admired her.  She chose to go to a retirement center on her own and once she was there, she started a Bible study group.  She was full of grace.

Well, I'd like to tell you that I'm still growing and figuring things out.  I had a major breakthrough tonight.  I've had a difficult relationship in my life.  This past week, Amazon was offering a free kindle book, "Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People" and I downloaded it and began reading it.  One of the questions Elizabeth B. Brown asks is, "What do you need from this relationship?"  Wow!  I began writing in my journal and came to the realization that what I was seeking from my difficult relationship was value.  And it was as easy as that!  (Knowing Truth does set you free!)  I immediately saw that I've spent years trying to find my value in the wrong place.

But the next question brought some healing:  "What have you gained from this difficult relationship?" And I already knew the answer to that question.  I hoped to never be that difficult person in anyone else's life.  And I hope I haven't.  I hope to finish well...full of grace, love, flexibility and thankfulness. Thank you, God, for this difficult relationship.  Help me to be ever-changing so I'm more like Jesus and less like Becky.