I Do It Myself!

It was so cute that Christmas morning when Matthew opened his first pair of cowboy boots.  He was so excited!  You see, my mom had taken him shopping just a couple of weeks before at the local western wear store and they had tried on those cowboy boots.  Matt cried when they left the store--he wanted those boots!  He certainly didn't understand delayed gratification at 17-months-old.  And honestly, I thought cowboy boots were the answer to all my little-boy-shoe-wearing-problems.  Easy to slip on and ready to go!  I couldn't have been more wrong.

You see that proud little face right there?  He had helped put on his own cowboy boots.  And this was one determined little dude.  It would have been an easy thing to put those cowboy boots on every morning--if he had let me help.  But Matt came out of the womb strong willed.  Those boots became a source of contention in our lives.

Matt & Amy were only 1 year and 1 day apart.  So I'd spend a good deal of time each morning just getting them ready.  And if I had somewhere to go?  I'd get Matt ready first and give him his boots so he'd have a head start while I got Amy ready.  I remember one morning when I was in a hurry to get somewhere and he was determinedly trying to get his boots on.  I told him I was going to have to help him so we could go and his famous reply was, "I do it myself!"  Oh the battles!! I'm pretty sure that was the last pair of cowboy boots Matt ever owned.

How many times have I done that with God?  He's handed me a task that is meant to bless me and to demonstrate His great power and I'm screaming, "I do it myself!"  I miss the whole blessing God intended it to be because of my strong will.  God never intended for us to do this life alone.  Anything He's asked us to do, He stands ready to help.  He doesn't want to see what we can do--He wants the world to see what He can do through us.

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever—  John 14:16

Manipulating God

I recently had an experience I'd like to share.  A person invited me to their home...but it wasn't an ordinary invitation.  There was guilt involved.  Now I've learned what manipulation and control look like and I try not to respond to it.  But after a couple of days (and feeling guilty that I hadn't responded yet), I went to visit them.  They were so anxious to have me there!  But it wasn't a friendly interaction.  It was almost as if this person was panicked that I would leave--fearful of being left alone.  So they kept suggesting things to do.  I had no desire to do the things they were suggesting, but I tried to remain friendly and made a couple of suggestions of my own.  We did some of those things and then they turned on the TV--so loudly we couldn't carry on a conversation.  I thought it strange when they'd been so anxious for me to come and visit!  When I was about to leave (after what I considered a lengthy stay), they were very vocal about their needs, what they needed me to do for them, and how often I should come and visit them.  They even told me I wasn't dressing correctly as a pastor's wife.  There was nothing in me wanting to stay in their presence!  I was anxious to leave.

After I got home, I began thinking on that experience.  And because I've learned that when I'm critical of someone else, it's as if God has put a mirror in front of me.  He's wanting me to examine and see if those same things are true of me.  So I took a step back and asked, "God...do I do that to You?"  And I knew immediately that I did.

There are times I use scripture to try and manipulate God.  I remind Him of things He's done in the past to try and make Him do those things for me.  I'm fearful He's not going to do them.  I'm fearful He's not going to answer my prayers and spend time with me.  I ask Him to come and visit with me and then I get distracted--with TV or Facebook and end up leaving Him sitting there not being able to communicate with me at all.  I keep trying to tell Him what I think we should go do and don't even listen to His suggestions.  I become very vocal about my needs--but the way I've interacted with Him can't be appealing to Him at all.  I've even been critical of God and what He does or doesn't do for me.

What an amazing way God has given me to see myself and my actions.  I don't want to quench the Spirit of God!!  I don't want to be a bad host of His presence.  I don't want to be a manipulator or use guilt.  I want true relationship, friendship, and enjoyment of one another.  And to have that, I have to change my ways.

Building an igloo

Zach & his boys made the beginnings of an igloo while they were here after the Blizzard of 2015.  As I thought about New Year's Day, new beginnings, and what I desired for the coming year, this photo came to mind.

My life is a series of events which God has used to shape me.  There's not one thing that has been wasted in my life.  In fact, if I believe God's Word (and I do!), He tells me that "He works all things for my good."  I picture Him taking a handful of my "stuff" and fashioning it into a building block--which He is using to create the completion of ME!  He takes the works, obedience, love and good things I do and uses them.  He also takes my mistakes, my sin, my flesh and uses them.  And in fact, if I believe this...I can't fail if I'm His child.  He uses everything that happens in my life for His purposes and His glory!  This morning, I read the story of Paul becoming irritated with the demon possessed girl who was following him around and he cast the demon out of her.  He ended up in prison because of it...but because of being in prison, he led the jailer to Jesus.  We have the advantage of looking at Paul's life and seeing how each event built onto another to create this man God used mightily!

My prayer for 2016 is that God will let my building blocks take form.  I know He's done some incredible things in me and used mistakes and events to change me.  He's created me with design and purpose.  I want to fulfill that purpose for which He has created me.  I want to see Him do great and mighty things through me--because of His power at work within me.

I want to be a beautiful, useful creation of His hands...for His glory and for His kingdom.

2016--The Year of Release!

I spent New Year's Day creating a photo book of 2015.  As I looked back over the past year, I was amazed that God could cram so much into one year!  I'm even more amazed that I'm still standing.  I laughed over a lot of the photos, was sad over a few because of the changes they brought, and even grieved as I thought back on all of the losses I faced.  Needless to say, 2015 was a tough, action-packed year.

What do I desire for 2016?   Well...God & I talked about that this morning.  Here's what I told Him:
"God, I want to live in the deep place of Your affection and Your passion.  I want to delight in You!!  I rejoice in You.  I take pleasure in You!!  I want a new intimacy with You.  I want to live in the place of Your indulgence, Your pleasure.
I also want to be intentional this year.  I want to be intentional in pouring myself into other people.  But first, I want this year to be a year of intentionally spending time with You, hearing You, being sourced by You--and then doing the same with others.  I know I need to become unplugged to do that.  Please hear my heart...I want to do that."

And then He spoke to my heart:
"Becky, I release you into your purpose.  I release you to have some FUN and relaxation.  I release you to ENJOY life!!  I release you to love deeply and to bless others.  I release you to care.  I release you from the hold of social media.  I release you to focus on Me and hear Me.  I release you to know the way to go.  I release you to belly-laugh with Me & others.  I release you to deep relationship with your family.  I release you to be real and honest.  I release you from frustration, doubt, negativity, fear, critical thinking, judgment.  I release you to love, truth, a positive spirit, acceptance.  I drop you into place--the place I designed just for you--and have prepared you for.  I release you to My very best this year, Becky--look for it, expect it!  Let's do some amazing things together!  I want you released, Becky.  I want your purpose for My kingdom released.  I want your laughter released.  I want your future released.  I release you from struggle.  I release you to flow.  You have all of heaven available to you.  Now--go for it!"

I believe He wants to release you, too.

Christmas Expectations

It's so hard to not have expectations for the picture-perfect Christmas!  We see the Hallmark movies, magazine spreads, Pinterest ideas, and see what other families are doing on Facebook...and we may be setting ourselves up for failure if we're expecting all of that and more!  May I make some suggestions and point out some potential hazards to rid you of unrealistic expectations?

1. When you get lots of people together who have different personalities, varied family traditions, and their own expectations, there may be conflict.  In fact, expect it.  This doesn't mean that there has to be an explosion...it just means you need to be prepared to GRACE one another!  In fact, purpose in your heart ahead of time to grace, laugh with, and love those knuckleheads you love most in the world.
2. When each of our children got married, we gave them the gift to be where they wanted for the holidays: "We bless you to be where you want for Christmas or any holiday.  If you choose to come to our home, we'll be very excited.   But if you want to create your own family traditions, we release you to do that.  And if you need to be with other family, we totally understand.  In fact, if no one comes home for Christmas, don't worry about us--we'll go on a cruise or something!"  And they have.  (You have to mean it when you say it!)  There's not a better feeling than to be released to do what you want.  And the less pressure your children feel, the more likely they are to come home for a visit.  In fact, if you demand that your family come to your house, it's like you've put a stranglehold on them and your experience will be minimized.  Give up any manipulation or control.  Release them instead!! 
3. You may expect those you love to have listened all year long to the hints you've dropped and gotten you that perfect gift!  What happens when they don't?  It can ruin your Christmas experience.  This is going to sound so simplistic, but...give your desires to God.  One of my favorite birthdays was when I asked God to give me a birthday gift.  I had absolutely no expectations from anyone else.  And as I opened a gift from Andy (something I'd admired months before), God whispered to my heart, "Happy birthday, Becky!"  God gave me a gift...and it was a thoughtful gift through my husband--who doesn't typically plan ahead.  But I'd released him of any expectations beforehand which made it even more special.
4. We may envision ourselves in the kitchen with all of our daughters cooking, cleaning, laughing, and having fun!  The reality may be that their children make demands on them at that very moment.  My advice is to keep things simple!!  Don't create a lot of work for yourself or anyone else.  My girls suggested sharing the cooking responsibilities a few years ago and it's made it so easy!  And after one good meal of turkey, who doesn't want some pizza delivered??
5. One of the best decisions we ever made was to never put any gifts on a credit card.  I'm sure everyone is much more responsible than me, but it just wasn't fun paying for Christmas a month after we'd given the gifts--especially if some of those gifts were already broken.  It's such a good feeling to not face debt after Christmas! 
6. Wouldn't it be amazing if we raised a generation of kids who had no expectations?  It's fun to delight them and watch their eyes glow!  And we need that...and they need to see us have the same heart as the Father Who gives good gifts.  But I've had kids tell me this year that they really don't need or want anything.  I think our culture is longing to learn how to give.  Motivate your children to give.  Do it as a family!  Find a family with needs and help them.  It will become a treasured family memory.  I'm hopeful as I watch this generation!
7. I've found myself trying to meet expectations no one has, have you?  I've spent hours making candy no one eats.  Or I've looked and looked for a special gift I think someone should want and it's tossed aside.  I've invited a friend over for our celebration when my family would have preferred a simpler evening.  I think the best advice I can offer here is: ASK!  Don't assume.  
8. Don't feel like you have to have House Beautiful for your family get-together.  In fact, I've found this to work best:  Make a modest attempt at cleaning before everyone comes.  Deep clean afterwards as you're putting up your decorations.
9. Embrace the moments.  Take time to soak up your children's or grandchildren's experiences. Don't be so busy or concerned with food or "stuff" that you miss it!   
10. Pray....and rest.  Pray before everyone comes...and rest before they come.  Find moments while they're all there to send up quick requests.  If you're like me, you may need to escape a few minutes and just be with your own thoughts.  (I never knew it had a name:  stimulation overload!)

God wants to bless our families this Christmas.  I'm praying each of you has your home filled with fun, laughter, love, and unity this year.  

Merry Christmas from My House to Yours!

Papa, the Gas Station, & Politics

The Guys at the Gas Station--Papa Childress standing on the right

Much of who we are is determined by the time we're 8-years-old, right?  And by the time I was 8-years-old, I'd learned not to go with Papa Childress to the gas station.  I mean...it was tempting!  Once.  Just once, for me.  It was the promise of a bottle of Coke and a bag of peanuts.  But that few minutes of ecstasy was eclipsed by hours of hanging around the gas station listening to old men talk.  They mostly talked about politics and I was bored out of my ever-lovin' mind!!  My brothers, on the other hand, loved going with Papa to the gas station.  I could only surmise it was a guy-thing.  After my one learning session at the gas station, I chose to stay home with Granny.

My 8-year-old brain hasn't gotten over an aversion to sitting around and talking about politics.

The Search for Fame

It's pretty evident we all want to be famous.  It used to be that very few ever became widely known for something great--and it would take years to achieve true success.  But social media seems to be changing all of that.  People are achieving notoriety overnight through YouTube videos or by creating personas on Instagram.  You can even hire people to increase your following instantly.  There's something innate in all of us--I don't care who you are--to want to be "known."

A verse was ringing in my head this morning.  Colossians 1:27.  "He has kept this secret for centuries and generations past, but now at last it has pleased him to tell it to those who love him and live for him, and the riches and glory of his plan are for you Gentiles, too.  And this is the secret: Christ in your hearts is your only hope of glory."

I was overcome with emotion as I began to think on the King of kings--ALL of HIM---living in my heart!!  Think about it.  The God of the universe.  How in the world is He contained in my heart?  ALL OF HIM!!!!  All of His power.  All of His riches.  All of His knowledge.  All of His possessions.  All of Who He is!  All of that is in my heart.  How dare I try to rule over that?  How dare I try to exert my desires over His?  How dare I decide my own way?  HOW DARE I?!?!?

But when I express Who He is through my own life, my body, my mind, my will, my emotions...
He becomes famous.
He is lifted up.
He is praised.
He is exalted.
He is seen.
His way becomes important.
He is preeminent.
He is in the spotlight.
He is talked about.
He is conspicuous.
He is celebrated.
He is championed.

That's my hope of fame and glory...to make Him famous.